Just got another reminder about my upcoming 10-year high school reunion. And in honor of that, I present to you this parody of Lorde’s “Royals.” The original is a celebration of being young and poor without a care in the world. The parody, by comedian Molly Dworsky, is a celebration of all the fun things you get to look forward to when you grow up, kids!
Cuz every song's, like, written by a kid I probably used to babysit
Killing it by puberty while I can barely stay fit
So unfair, that Lorde's a millionaire at seventeen
And everybody's got kids, a mortgage, real responsibility
Neck pain, diets, “hot chicks” were born after me
So unfair, being carded is getting rare
This is especially meaningful to me because the video features the Hopkins Royals, a school in the Minneapolis suburbs not so far from my own school, Maple Grove Senior High. I’m also a 2004 grad, hence the 10-year reunion notes.
…Anyway. Catchy parody for anyone approaching 30. For the record, I don't miss high school at all, and paying for your own health care is definitely the worst part of being an adult.