By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & CHOCOLATE JESUS REPLACED WITH CHOCOLATE SATAN & r & & r & & lt;span class= & quot;dropcap & quot; & S & lt;/span & tung by criticism from the Catholic League a Manhattan art gallery that had planned to exhibit a 6-foot-tall chocolate sculpture of Jesus announced plans today to replace the statue with a 6-foot-tall chocolate sculpture of Satan.
The Lab Gallery, which had come under fire for the Jesus sculpture entitled "My Sweet Lord," hopes to quiet the controversy by substituting it with a Satan sculpture entitled "Devil's Food."
Carol Foyler, a spokeswoman for the Lab Gallery, issued the following statement to reporters today: "We sincerely hope that all of those who were offended by the chocolate statue of Jesus will enjoy this wonderful statue of Satan, the Prince of Dark Chocolate."
At the Lab Gallery, gallery officials were working overtime to prepare the chocolate sculpture of Satan, which reportedly has a nougat center.
But while the gallery's management hoped that the sculpture of Satan would appease the Catholic League, the decision drew an angry reaction from the Chocolate League, an organization representing the nation's 47 million chocolate worshippers.
"As chocolate lovers, we at the Chocolate League abhor any representation of chocolate in a negative or unflattering light," said the League's executive director, Tracy Klujian. "This sculpture of Satan is offensive to all lovers of chocolate and, to some extent, all lovers of nougat."
Elsewhere, in a sign that prices for ethanol are reaching all-time highs, President George W. Bush today ordered an armed invasion of Kansas.
For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out borowitzreport.com.
The Lab Gallery, which had come under fire for the Jesus sculpture entitled "My Sweet Lord," hopes to quiet the controversy by substituting it with a Satan sculpture entitled "Devil's Food."
Carol Foyler, a spokeswoman for the Lab Gallery, issued the following statement to reporters today: "We sincerely hope that all of those who were offended by the chocolate statue of Jesus will enjoy this wonderful statue of Satan, the Prince of Dark Chocolate."
At the Lab Gallery, gallery officials were working overtime to prepare the chocolate sculpture of Satan, which reportedly has a nougat center.
But while the gallery's management hoped that the sculpture of Satan would appease the Catholic League, the decision drew an angry reaction from the Chocolate League, an organization representing the nation's 47 million chocolate worshippers.
"As chocolate lovers, we at the Chocolate League abhor any representation of chocolate in a negative or unflattering light," said the League's executive director, Tracy Klujian. "This sculpture of Satan is offensive to all lovers of chocolate and, to some extent, all lovers of nougat."
Elsewhere, in a sign that prices for ethanol are reaching all-time highs, President George W. Bush today ordered an armed invasion of Kansas.
For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out borowitzreport.com.
