By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & Bush Postpones Thinking about Iraq Until '09 & r & & r & & lt;span class= & quot;dropcap & quot; & S & lt;/span & aying that it was too early to assess whether the surge of additional troops into Baghdad was improving the security situation in the capital city, President George W. Bush said today he would postpone thinking about Iraq until 2009.
While congressional Democrats have urged the president to start thinking about Iraq now, the president said that setting a timetable for thinking about the war would send the "wrong message" to the insurgents.
"Thinking about the war in Iraq is exactly what the insurgents want us to do," Mr. Bush told reporters. "By saying that we are giving the war in Iraq a thoughtful assessment, we would be playing directly into the evildoers' hands."
The president also lashed out at the Democrats in Congress for spending "untold hours" thinking about the war and argued that "excessive thinking" about Iraq would undermine the position of the U.S. troops there.
"The best thing we can do to support the troops is to not think about them," the president said.
But just hours after Mr. Bush made his announcement, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) urged the president to set a firm deadline for the Bush administration to think about the war, arguing that the 2009 date would be "too late."
Later in the day, however, the president rebuffed the Speaker's request, telling reporters, "There she goes -- thinking again."
Elsewhere, Alec Baldwin explained his decision to leave the cast of the NBC sitcom 30 Rock, saying he wanted to spend more time berating his family.
For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out borowitzreport.com.
While congressional Democrats have urged the president to start thinking about Iraq now, the president said that setting a timetable for thinking about the war would send the "wrong message" to the insurgents.
"Thinking about the war in Iraq is exactly what the insurgents want us to do," Mr. Bush told reporters. "By saying that we are giving the war in Iraq a thoughtful assessment, we would be playing directly into the evildoers' hands."
The president also lashed out at the Democrats in Congress for spending "untold hours" thinking about the war and argued that "excessive thinking" about Iraq would undermine the position of the U.S. troops there.
"The best thing we can do to support the troops is to not think about them," the president said.
But just hours after Mr. Bush made his announcement, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) urged the president to set a firm deadline for the Bush administration to think about the war, arguing that the 2009 date would be "too late."
Later in the day, however, the president rebuffed the Speaker's request, telling reporters, "There she goes -- thinking again."
Elsewhere, Alec Baldwin explained his decision to leave the cast of the NBC sitcom 30 Rock, saying he wanted to spend more time berating his family.
For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out borowitzreport.com.
