By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & White House Seeks NEW Lying Czar & r & & r & & lt;span class= & quot;dropcap & quot; & T & lt;/span & he White House has been quietly searching for candidates for the position of "lying czar," a high-level administrator who would oversee all distortions and misrepresentations about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, a White House source confirmed.
News of the administration's search for a "lying czar" raised eyebrows in official Washington, where many insiders believe that the White House already has enough personnel to handle the creation and dissemination of war-related lies.
Specifically, many insiders wonder why an administration that already has advisor Karl Rove and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice would also need a "lying czar."
"The Bush administration has a lot of world-class manpower, lying-wise," one insider said. "This whole 'lying czar' thing seems like an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy."
But White House insiders disagree, saying those who believe a "lying czar" is unnecessary are oblivious to the volume of distortions that are sorely in need of coordination at a high level.
"On any given day, the Defense and State Departments will produce lies that are directly in conflict with each other, and that's counterproductive," one insider said. "A 'lying czar' would change all that."
Davis Logsdon, who holds the Clifford Irving chair at the University of Minnesota's School of Communication, says that the need for a "lying czar" reveals weaknesses in Bush's cabinet. "When I hear the White House is looking for a lying czar, one thing is clear," Dr. Logsdon said. "They really miss Rumsfeld."
Elsewhere, the National Gardening Association said it would no longer use the term "hoe."
For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out borowitzreport.com.
News of the administration's search for a "lying czar" raised eyebrows in official Washington, where many insiders believe that the White House already has enough personnel to handle the creation and dissemination of war-related lies.
Specifically, many insiders wonder why an administration that already has advisor Karl Rove and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice would also need a "lying czar."
"The Bush administration has a lot of world-class manpower, lying-wise," one insider said. "This whole 'lying czar' thing seems like an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy."
But White House insiders disagree, saying those who believe a "lying czar" is unnecessary are oblivious to the volume of distortions that are sorely in need of coordination at a high level.
"On any given day, the Defense and State Departments will produce lies that are directly in conflict with each other, and that's counterproductive," one insider said. "A 'lying czar' would change all that."
Davis Logsdon, who holds the Clifford Irving chair at the University of Minnesota's School of Communication, says that the need for a "lying czar" reveals weaknesses in Bush's cabinet. "When I hear the White House is looking for a lying czar, one thing is clear," Dr. Logsdon said. "They really miss Rumsfeld."
Elsewhere, the National Gardening Association said it would no longer use the term "hoe."
For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out borowitzreport.com.
