The Time-Warped Tour
Bring your fishnets, rubber gloves and toilet paper to Northern Quest at midnight this Friday and Saturday for the touring live-action version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. You can actually ask Brad if he has any tattoos -- at a live show like this one, he might even answer back. Either that, or Dr. Frank will goose you. Tickets: $25. Call 325-SEAT.
An Outing at Hogwarts
So J.K. Rowling revealed that Albus Dumbledore is gay. Actually, this is minor news. Just last week, English professors imbricated evidence that Emily Dickinson was actually Emile Dickinson, a French hearse-maker living just outside Amherst, Mass. Still, a gay man practicing witchcraft -- sounds like the next candidacy for Republicans to rationalize.
Classical Cage Match
Classical music always sounds better when a fight breaks out. At the Bing on Friday night, Allegro Baroque will pit the cellos against the viola da gambas and one ballet troupe against another in "Baroque Battles." Tickets: $10-$25. Visit www.allegrobaroque.org.
Cast a Spell on Me
Oh, sure, there's the shopping spree, the penthouse suite. But you think it's easy being outed as a guy caught in bed with another language's etymology? Actually reads the dictionary: You think that burden's easy? And then all those future e-mails: "Well, Mister Smarty Pants, I see you managed to misspell that easy word in the third column on page 27...." The morning after the big Bee, do you wake up in triumph? No, you wake up as a Dictionary Dork.