Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Insane Clown Appetite

Insane Clown Posse’s tour pairs them with an all-girl death metal band, a ’90s rapper and a band of weed-smokers. Why, God, why?

Leah Sottile
Insane Clown Posse
Insane Clown Posse
Insane Clown Posse

Insane Clown Posse is coming again. This should not be a surprise. What may be a shocker, though, is who they’re bringing on tour with them — not other Psychopathic Records artists, but a string of totally oddball openers.

There’s Kittie, an all-girl nu-metal band from Canada who got popular in the mid-’90s and who I had no idea still existed. Then Kottonmouth Kings: a California-grown weed-rap posse beloved by the High Times crowd. And lastly — this one’s the real kicker — Coolio. The “Gangsta’s Paradise” rapper with kooky hair, known lately for his appearances on has-been catch-all shows like Celebrity Big Brother and Celebrity Fear Factor and his arrest last year for possession of crack cocaine. So we tried to connect the dots: What, if anything, do these artists have in common?

Here’s how we tried to figure it out — and it’s kinda looking like they all just share a love for munchies.

Eating Human Flesh!

ICP: Raps about cannibalism on “Dead Body Man”: “I ate a dead body, I ain’t proud of it / I told you all about it, and you all applauded.”

Kittie: Sings about eating corpses on “Paperdoll”: “She wants you to eat her pain / She wants you to eat her remains.”

Genitals!

ICP: Over-the-top raunchy. Sings songs about their scrotums on “Bugs on My Nuts.”

Coolio: Sings the song “Hand on My Nutsac.”

Kittie: Sings about male genitalia on “Spit” and “Get Off”… but not in a good way.

Heavy Irony!

ICP: Claims their music is completely ironic. But it kinda feels serious…

Kittie: Seems ironic, or else these are some seriously crazy bitches.

Snacks!

ICP: Has a love for junk food: see songs “Cotton Candy” and “Cotton Candy & Popsicles,” and the group ritually sprays down fans with Faygo, a Detroit-made soda.

Kottonmouth Kings: Sings about snacks on “The Munchies:” “Cherry Icees, Whatchamacallits, Twizzlers, Bubbalicious, nachos and chili dogs/ (I got the munchies) / Hostess fruit pies and cupcakes/ Twinkies, Zingers, crumb doughnuts with some Kool-Aid” … you get the idea.

Coolio: Specializes in cheap and easy recipes on his online cooking show, “Cookin’ With Coolio.” Quoted as saying, “Hell, when I was growing up, I could make a meal out of a package of Top Ramen and a bottle of Windex.”

Pimpin'!

Coolio: Calls himself a “Kitchen Pimp,” on “Cookin’ With Coolio.”

Kottonmouth Kings: Sings about pimpin’ on “Pimp Twist,” saying “Kottonmouth make a sweet girl turn a trick.”

Drugs!

Kottonmouth Kings: Cited for possession of marijuana.

Coolio: Arrested for crack cocaine in 2009.

Masks!

Kottonmouth Kings: Pakelika, member of the Kottonmouth Kings crew (krew?), sports a white facemask.

ICP: Proud clown face-paint wearers

Evil Clowns!

Kottonmouth Kings: Sings song “Wickit Clowns.”

ICP: Without the wicked clown motif, there would be no ICP.

Killing Rules!

Kittie: Common lyrical theme: Death. “Career Suicide,” “Die My Darling,” “Funeral for Yesterday,” “Summer Dies.”

ICP: Murder is their favorite song subject: “Guts on the Ceiling,” “Night of the Axe,” “Murder Go Round,” “17 Dead,” “The Dead One,” “Cemetery Girl,” “Dead Body Man,” “The Killing Fields,” “Graveyard,” “I Didn’t Mean to Kill Him,” “My Axe,” “Insane Killers,” “Murder Rap,” “Everyday I Die,” “If I Was a Serial Killer,” “Thrill of the Kill,” “Imma Kill U.”

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