MOVIE
Safe House

So Ryan Reynolds is a CIA agent who whines about having to hang out all day in Cape Town, South Africa, one of the most picturesque cities in an already picturesque country? And then Denzel Washington shows up and is promptly waterboarded? And then some kind of goon squad bursts in and starts shooting everybody and all of the sudden the Green Lantern is running around with Malcolm X, car-chasing, bomb-throwing and lady-romancing all over the Western Cape? And this goes on for two hours? And it’s called SAFE HOUSE? And it’s coming out on Friday? And you expect people to go see it? 

MUSIC
Skrillex

Dubstep is a genre of music that should go the way of the dinosaurs as soon as possible, but until then, you might as well listen to SKRILLEX. When he was a teenager, this guy would whine about teen angst in the emo band From First to Last, but now he makes music that sounds like a combination of nursery rhymes and the noise a Volvo makes when it’s trying to get out of a snow bank. He just got nominated for five Grammys. Whattaguy.

FOOD
Salami

Hey, you tried SALAMI lately? Man, that’s some good stuff, you should get back into that. That’s that cured Italian meat that you can buy sliced up in a package. Or you can just buy a whole salami and roll through a bad neighborhood munching on it, and if any ne’er-dowells try to accost you, just whack them with that big ol’ salami that you’re carrying. See? Dual-purpose. Cheapos can get the massproduced varieties at Trader Joe’s. Those who know, though, will start hitting up the delis around Spokane, like Eggers Better Meats and Seafood on the South Hill and Cassano’s Italian Grocery on East Sprague, to seek out the finest loaf.