Buying a gift for your boss can be like walking a minefield. Buying a gift for a boss you absolutely can’t stand becomes even more difficult. Give nothing, and you’re toast. Give something too nice and s/he will see right through it. The key is to give them something that’s suitably congenial while also delivering a subtle “screw you.” Here are some ideas.
MELTING POT GIFT CERTIFICATE
For a limited time, every $10 donation to St. Jude Children’s Research hospital gets you a $20 gift certificate to Melting Pot in return. So you get a clean conscience while your boss gets a gift certificate. Everybody’s happy, right? Well, at least until Boss gets the bill and discovers $20 only covered part of her fondue dinner. Eat it and weep! $10 • Melting Pot • 707 W. Main Ave.
EXECUTIVE DECISION
At first blush, the gift of this classic board game — in which you play a manufacturer who has to turn raw materials into finished goods and out-maneuver his colleagues — seems like mere good-natured fun. “You’re a boss, and this is a game about bosses. Isn’t that a scream?” But while your supervisor chuckles and thanks you for the present, you know what you’re truly saying here: “Boss, you’re so bad at what you do that maybe even this child’s game could teach you a thing or two.” $30 • Figpickels • 312 E. Sherman Ave., CdA
COLON CLEANSE
What better way to show your boss you care about his health and well-being while also letting him know precisely where he can stick it? $60 • Colon Cleanse and Detox Center • 133 E. Poplar Ave., CdA
ARROGANT BASTARD BEER
Deliver a 22 of this fine strong ale to your boss and share that you discovered it at Stone Brewing’s headquarters while vacationing in San Diego this fall and you thought it was just the best beer ever and who appreciates really great craft beer more than your amazing, hard-working boss? The more back story, the less obvious the subtext. $5 • Huckleberry’s Natural Market • 926 S. Monroe St.
Gifts for:
Survivalists • Sweethearts • Enemies • Divas • Animal People • Techies • Outdoorsy Types • Pragmatists • Greenies • Misanthropes • Foodies • Jerk Bosses • Kids • Socialites • Stockings • Gifts You Can Make Yourself • Stumped? Some Last-Minute Shopping Ideas
