Wednesday, August 10, 2005

The Borowitz Report

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by Andy Borowitz & r & Rapper 50 Cent "Offended" By Novak's Use of Profanity & r & Conservative pundit Bob Novak, suspended indefinitely by CNN for using a profanity on the air, received some harsh criticism from another quarter today as the rapper 50 Cent said he was "offended" by Mr. Novak's language.


At a press conference in Washington, the platinum-selling rap artist expressed outrage at Mr. Novak's televised outburst, saying that it represented "a troubling lowering of the standards of discourse and a "coarsening of the culture in general.


"I was sitting down to watch CNN with my children, as I always do," Mr. Cent told reporters, "and when I heard Bob Novak's remark, well, all I can say is that I was deeply, deeply offended."


Mr. Cent was not the only member of the rap community to be outraged by Mr. Novak's use of profanity, as thousands of rappers took to the streets of the nation's capital to express their anger at the foul-mouthed pundit.


The protest, led by rappers Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z and Eminem, was orchestrated to put pressure on Congress to place warning labels on pundits such as Mr. Novak to alert parents that he may blurt out an explicit remark at any moment.


As for Mr. Cent, he said that even if CNN ultimately reinstates Mr. Novak, he has no intention of watching the potty-mouthed talking head again: "From now on, the only person I feel totally safe watching is Lou Dobbs."


Elsewhere, President Bush said today that the idea of "intelligent design" explains the creation of life on Earth but not his Social Security plan.





For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out www.borowitzreport.com.


 
 
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