by Andy Borowitz & r & & r & BUSH URGES BIN LADEN TO TAKE AN AUGUST VACATION & r & & lt;span class= & quot;dropcap & quot; & H & lt;/span & aving begun his month-long summer vacation at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, President George W. Bush used his weekly radio address on Saturday to urge Osama bin Laden to take the month of August off as well.
President Bush said he was taking the "extreme step" of "slipping out of vacation mode for a few seconds" to address the al-Qaeda leader directly.
"I strongly recommend that you take August off, because if you don't, you are greatly increasing your chances of burnout," Mr. Bush told the al-Qaeda madman. "Even an evildoer like yourself cannot evildo 12 months out of the year."
The president added that if Mr. bin Laden takes his advice, "In September, you will emerge from your vacation feeling rested, refreshed, and eviler than ever."
The president's extraordinary message to the world's most wanted man may have come in part as a reaction to a Presidential Daily Brief (PDB) received last week entitled "Bin Laden Determined Not to Take a Summer Vacation."
"The president was concerned that Osama bin Laden apparently is planning to work straight through the summer," White House spokesman Tony Snow said today. "Also, he was very annoyed that he had to take time out of his vacation to read that two-page PDB."
For his part, President Bush said he intends to spend this August much as he did last year, clearing his ranch of brush and antiwar activists.
Elsewhere, after 10 years of exploring Mars, most scientists believe that there is no life there, but NASA proposed spending $400 billion more "just to be sure."
& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .
President Bush said he was taking the "extreme step" of "slipping out of vacation mode for a few seconds" to address the al-Qaeda leader directly.
"I strongly recommend that you take August off, because if you don't, you are greatly increasing your chances of burnout," Mr. Bush told the al-Qaeda madman. "Even an evildoer like yourself cannot evildo 12 months out of the year."
The president added that if Mr. bin Laden takes his advice, "In September, you will emerge from your vacation feeling rested, refreshed, and eviler than ever."
The president's extraordinary message to the world's most wanted man may have come in part as a reaction to a Presidential Daily Brief (PDB) received last week entitled "Bin Laden Determined Not to Take a Summer Vacation."
"The president was concerned that Osama bin Laden apparently is planning to work straight through the summer," White House spokesman Tony Snow said today. "Also, he was very annoyed that he had to take time out of his vacation to read that two-page PDB."
For his part, President Bush said he intends to spend this August much as he did last year, clearing his ranch of brush and antiwar activists.
Elsewhere, after 10 years of exploring Mars, most scientists believe that there is no life there, but NASA proposed spending $400 billion more "just to be sure."
& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .
