by Andy Borowitz & r & & r & HEAT WAVE TURNED AL GORE INTO A PAIN IN THE ASS & r & & lt;span class= & quot;dropcap & quot; & T & lt;/span & he recent heat wave that swept the nation transformed former Vice President Al Gore into a "real pain in the ass" who never missed an opportunity to say that he had predicted that global warming would create uncomfortably high temperatures, friends of Mr. Gore complained today.
Travis Spivack, a life-long friend of the former vice president who has been sharing a beach house this summer with Mr. Gore and his family, said that the recent spike in temperatures turned the 2000 Democratic presidential nominee into "an insufferable I-told-you-so.'"
"Even on his best days, Al is not a barrel of laughs," Mr. Spivack told reporters today. "But when he believes that his predictions about global warming have come true, he can be an unbelievable pain in the ass."
Mr. Spivack gives the former vice president credit for being one of the first to point out the dangers of global warming, but added, "The way he was acting during the heat wave, you'd think he was Nostra-effing-damus."
Mr. Gore's preachiness got so unbearable, Mr. Spivack said, "I'd be sitting in the living room and when I'd see him coming I'd quick get up and move to another room -- even if the other room didn't have air conditioning."
"Look, global warming is a serious thing," Mr. Spivack said. "But the only thing worse than living on an overheated planet is being around Al Gore when he knows he's right."
Elsewhere, the FDA approved a new morning-after pill that makes men stay for breakfast and call when they say they will.
& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .
Travis Spivack, a life-long friend of the former vice president who has been sharing a beach house this summer with Mr. Gore and his family, said that the recent spike in temperatures turned the 2000 Democratic presidential nominee into "an insufferable I-told-you-so.'"
"Even on his best days, Al is not a barrel of laughs," Mr. Spivack told reporters today. "But when he believes that his predictions about global warming have come true, he can be an unbelievable pain in the ass."
Mr. Spivack gives the former vice president credit for being one of the first to point out the dangers of global warming, but added, "The way he was acting during the heat wave, you'd think he was Nostra-effing-damus."
Mr. Gore's preachiness got so unbearable, Mr. Spivack said, "I'd be sitting in the living room and when I'd see him coming I'd quick get up and move to another room -- even if the other room didn't have air conditioning."
"Look, global warming is a serious thing," Mr. Spivack said. "But the only thing worse than living on an overheated planet is being around Al Gore when he knows he's right."
Elsewhere, the FDA approved a new morning-after pill that makes men stay for breakfast and call when they say they will.
& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .
