The president had never before linked the war in Iraq to the broader war on gay marriage, but in a televised address today he made his case.
Speaking from the Oval Office, the president said that America's enemies, such as Syria and Iran, were directly involved in sending wedding planners over the border into Iraq to plan gay weddings.
The president said that were the United States to withdraw its forces now, as some in Congress have suggested, it would be "sending a dangerous message to gay engaged couples around the globe."
"Our choice is simple," Mr. Bush said. "Do we fight the gay fianc & eacute;s and fianc & eacute;es in Iraq, or do we leave and let them bring their fabulous nuptials to our shores?"
But even as President Bush was making his argument that the war in Iraq was part of a larger war on gay marriage, gay wedding planners in that war-torn country disputed the president's assertions.
Hassan El-Medfaii, a gay wedding planner in Saddam Hussein's hometown of Tikrit, said he had seen "no increase" in gay weddings since the insurgency in Iraq began.
"In this country right now, it's hard to find two people who can even stand each other, let alone want to get married," Mr. El-Medfaii said.
Elsewhere, in a positive sign for holiday retailers, sales of totally useless items surged last week.
& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & &