Harland DeBellis, a spokesperson for the USACE, said that the agency had given plans for a city constructed entirely out of chocolate the thumbs-down only after engineers painstakingly built a scale model of New Orleans out of Hershey's bars and found the results "problematic."
"If the existing levees in New Orleans were breached by the flood waters of Katrina, imagine how much worse they would have been if they had been made out of chocolate," Mr. DeBellis said at a press briefing in Washington. "Chocolate is simply not a suitable building material."
Mr. DeBellis said that as vulnerable as a chocolate city would be in the event of a hurricane, it would be even more endangered during the hot summer months, when temperatures in New Orleans routinely climb into the 90s.
"A chocolate city would be in constant danger of melting, and then when the temperatures drop, that gooey chocolate mess would harden and be impossible to clean up," he said.
In conclusion, the USACE spokesperson added that given the revelry associated with New Orleans' Mardi Gras, "The last thing you want is a city that a bunch of hungry drunks are going to eat."
Elsewhere, President George W. Bush said that he meant to invade Iran all along, blaming the error on SpellCheck.
& lt;i & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & lt;/i & .