For years, economists have seen the United States' heavy debt burden to China as something of a ticking bomb, but few anticipated that Chinese President Hu Jintao would insist that the U.S. repay the loans by signing over ownership of the Golden State.
But according to University of Minnesota economist Davis Logsdon, owning California would give the Chinese an opportunity to reverse its longstanding relationship with the United States: "China would own the Hollywood film business, and the U.S. would have to settle for pirated DVDs."
For the White House, losing California could be good news, since the state has voted blue in the last few presidential elections and is home to such high-profile Hollywood liberals as Barbra Streisand and Steven Spielberg.
But the move could be bad news for Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, according to one aide, "has spent his entire life trying to become President of the United States and doesn't want to start all over again in China."
Perhaps responding to pressure from Gov. Schwarzenegger, President Bush has asked China if it would drop its demand for California and instead accept two other blue states, New York and Massachusetts.
For his part, President Hu released a terse statement suggesting that China would not waver in its demand: "No substitutions."
Elsewhere, in a move that may discourage future immigration to the United States, Paris Hilton announced that she would release an album of her singing.
& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .