Pin It
Favorite

Bad Baseball 

click to enlarge Saquan Johnson is batting just .069 on the season.
  • Saquan Johnson is batting just .069 on the season.
Way back in 1899 — Jamie Moyer’s rookie year, if we recall correctly — the Cleveland Spiders set a major league record for futility by winning just 20 of 154 games. The biteless Spiders batted a measly .253 as a team.

By comparison, the Seattle Mariners came into the week hitting .230. Home sweet home? Try telling that to the blunders of Seattle, who were batting a sickly .197 at cavernous Safeco Field. Needless to say, that ranked dead last in the majors by a goodly margin.

This whole putting-wood-to-cowhide mystery has been even more confounding for the young Spokane Indians, who began the week hitting a ghastly .209. Only one player was hitting over .260 (catcher Patrick Cantwell at .306). Only one player had more than one home run (first baseman Ryan Rua had two). Half of the 16 non-pitchers were batting .200 or lower, including two under .100.

What in the name of Interstate 90 batting fungus is going on here? The last time we witnessed such ineptitude, prosecutors were asking O.J. to try on the glove. It strains the imagination to envision a major league starter having a worse offensive year than Mariners shortstop Brandon Ryan (.182 batting average, 57 strikeouts in 231 at bats). Somehow, Indians outfielder Saquan Johnson has managed to be demonstrably worse in the lowly Northwest League (.069 batting average, 17 strikeouts in 29 at bats).

Today’s youth would summarize the batting woes of the Mariners and Indians with an emphatic “OMG!” Today’s elderly would summarize the situation with an emphatic, “What the (fill in the remainder of the sentence with a really, really bad word).”

C’mon, Mariners. C’mon, Indians. It can’t be THAT tough to hit a baseball, can it?

  • Pin It

Latest in Arts & Culture

  • In the Line of Fire
  • In the Line of Fire

    The Spokane Firefighters Memorial Project reminds us of those who died in their duty to protect
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • Through His Eyes
  • Through His Eyes

    Dean Davis' show at the MAC is a survey of the region's artistic talents
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • For Your Consideration
  • For Your Consideration

    Creepy games, financial podcast pick and an important book
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri
The Artist’s Palette: Through the Lens of Dean Davis

The Artist’s Palette: Through the Lens of Dean Davis @ Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture

Tuesdays-Sundays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Continues through June 28

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by Howie Stalwick

  • More than Hair
  • More than Hair

    Ronnie Hamlin hopes his long tour at Eastern ends with a national championship
    • Dec 3, 2014
  • Boy Wonder
  • Boy Wonder

    Unexpectedly tossed into action, Luke Falk is making the best of his time under center for WSU
    • Nov 25, 2014
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • Captain Planet

    Recycle Man is making the world a little better for people and mascots alike, one bottle at a time
    • Dec 10, 2014
  • Swipe right for love

    Technology has totally revolutionized romance. Or maybe it hasn't.
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • More »

Top Tags in
Culture & Food

Culture


Last Word


Digest


Food


for your consideration


© 2014 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation