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Instant ways to spot bad TV

Posted by DANIEL.WALTERS at 03:27 PM on Tue, Dec. 13, 2011

Heroes.jpgYou’re a busy media consumer. You don’t have time to watch 13 hours of a television show before declaring it awful. That’s TV critics’ jobs.

Instead, just look for a few signs before lunging for the remote:

- Uproarious studio audience laughter following silly euphemism for urination.

- Men dressed in women’s clothing in a show that’s neither British nor airing on Bravo.

- Characters using the word “amnesia”

- Animal reaction shots

- Actors clearly chosen at random from the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog

- More than three special guest stars

- Txt Spk or a numeral in the title

- In reality shows, the dedication of half the show to recapping what happened before the commercial breaks

- Dramatic scenes scored with bombastic music, comedic scenes scored with bouncy ain’t-this-quirky-music, and thoughtful closing montages scored with the latest indie hits

- “You’ll never in a million years get me doing that!” followed immediately with a smash cut of them doing that.

- A Monica Lewinsky joke, of all things, in this day and age

- Voice-over narration that tells you absolutely nothing you don’t see on screen

-  The mole, predictably, revealed to be the person you’d least expect

- Dialogue mostly about how characters feel, instead of dialogue catalyzed by how characters feel

- “Created by Chuck Lorre”

 
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