Pin It
Favorite

Borowitz Report 

By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & 'Operation Relentless Smear' Launched in Iraq & r & & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & I & lt;/span & n a bold change of strategy in the war in Iraq, President George W. Bush announced today that the United States had begun bombarding Iraqi insurgents with negative ads in the hopes of bringing the insurgency to its knees.





At a White House briefing today, spokesman Tony Snow said that the new military campaign, called Operation Relentless Smear, would focus on attacking the personal missteps and hypocrisies of key Iraqi insurgents on a 24-hour basis.





"This new strategy is playing to our strengths," Mr. Snow told reporters. "The insurgents are good at blowing things up and creating chaos, but no one is better than we are at creating negative ads."





According to Snow, Operation Relentless Smear will re-deploy thousands of negative ad producers, directors, and voiceover artists who were momentarily stranded at the conclusion of the recent U.S. midterm election campaign.





Masterminded by the White House's top political strategist, Karl Rove, the bombardment of negative ads began at midnight Wednesday, interrupting all local Iraqi programming with a nonstop diet of half-truths, corrosive accusations and character assassination.





By Thursday morning, there were already signs that Operation Relentless Smear was working, as Iraqi insurgents in such key cities as Baghdad and Tikrit appeared worn out by the onslaught of slickly produced attack ads.





"The air strikes and the curfews were one thing," said Hassan El-Medfaii, an insurgent who is based in Baghdad's Sadr City district. "But this is messing with my TV."





Elsewhere, U.S. Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.





& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & &

  • Pin It

Latest in News

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri
Travel Expert Rick Steves

Travel Expert Rick Steves @ CenterPlace Regional Event Center

Sat., Nov. 22, 2-3:30 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

Most Commented On

  • The Lives on the Bus

    Can the STA redesign the Plaza in a way that makes everyone happy?
    • Nov 12, 2014
  • Prisoners of War

    The war on drugs isn't over. Still in the feds' crosshairs: medical marijuana growers across eastern Washington
    • Oct 29, 2014
  • More »

© 2014 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation