Pin It
Favorite

Borowitz Report 

By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & BUSH URGES BOOK BURNING AS ALTERNATIVE FUEL & lt;BR & & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & I & lt;/span & n a nationally televised speech last night, President George W. Bush urged using State of Denial, the new book by Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward, as an alternative fuel source by burning millions of copies of the book.





The president, who in his State of the Union address declared that the United States was "addicted to oil," said that by burning the entire print run of the Woodward book, the U.S. could once and for all end its dependence on Middle Eastern petroleum.





"For some time, our nation has been looking for a cheap, plentiful alternative to Middle Eastern oil," Mr. Bush told the nation. "I have personally burned one hundred copies of Bob Woodward's book and I can tell you that it burns cleanly and efficiently."


While many Republicans in Congress applauded Mr. Bush's suggestion to use Woodward's book as an alternative source of energy, Professor Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota warned that State of Denial, while a national bestseller, was not a renewable fuel source.





"Burning Bob Woodward's book is not a long-term solution to America's energy problem," Professor Logsdon said. "When all of the copies of State of Denial have been burned, what then?"


Responding to Professor Logsdon's criticism, White House spokesman Tony Snow offered this response: "Colin Powell has a book coming out next week."





Elsewhere, announcing his plans to enter rehab, former Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) said, "I am grateful for the support of all my friends, especially the ones on MySpace."











& r &


& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .

  • Pin It

Latest in News

  • Between Love and the Law
  • Between Love and the Law

    He was a criminal. She was a crime fighter. Their relationship would cost them both dearly
    • Feb 25, 2015
  • 'All Lives Matter'
  • 'All Lives Matter'

    A deeper look at Pasco as it grapples with the police shooting of a vulnerable man
    • Feb 25, 2015
  • Promise Keepers?
  • Promise Keepers?

    The city of Spokane tries to keep its promise not to raise taxes; plus, the fight against public nudity
    • Feb 25, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat
WIAA Hardwood Classic

WIAA Hardwood Classic @ Spokane Arena

March 5-7

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by n/a

  • Iron Upgrade
  • Iron Upgrade

    The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.
    • May 12, 2010
  • Seeing Gay
  • Seeing Gay

    A festival showing GLBT from all angles
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • Get Out the Vote
  • Get Out the Vote

    With all the uncertainty in the world these days, hot wings and cold beer are two things we can get behind
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • 'I Do Not Trust Muzlims'

    Comments by the wife of Spokane County Prosecutor Larry Haskell have raised questions about his office's impartiality
    • Feb 25, 2015
  • Fagan's World

    City councilman Mike Fagan has unconventional views on vaccinations. So, what else does he think?
    • Feb 18, 2015
  • More »

© 2015 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation