Pin It
Favorite

Borowitz Report 

By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & BUSH URGES BOOK BURNING AS ALTERNATIVE FUEL & lt;BR & & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & I & lt;/span & n a nationally televised speech last night, President George W. Bush urged using State of Denial, the new book by Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward, as an alternative fuel source by burning millions of copies of the book.





The president, who in his State of the Union address declared that the United States was "addicted to oil," said that by burning the entire print run of the Woodward book, the U.S. could once and for all end its dependence on Middle Eastern petroleum.





"For some time, our nation has been looking for a cheap, plentiful alternative to Middle Eastern oil," Mr. Bush told the nation. "I have personally burned one hundred copies of Bob Woodward's book and I can tell you that it burns cleanly and efficiently."


While many Republicans in Congress applauded Mr. Bush's suggestion to use Woodward's book as an alternative source of energy, Professor Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota warned that State of Denial, while a national bestseller, was not a renewable fuel source.





"Burning Bob Woodward's book is not a long-term solution to America's energy problem," Professor Logsdon said. "When all of the copies of State of Denial have been burned, what then?"


Responding to Professor Logsdon's criticism, White House spokesman Tony Snow offered this response: "Colin Powell has a book coming out next week."





Elsewhere, announcing his plans to enter rehab, former Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) said, "I am grateful for the support of all my friends, especially the ones on MySpace."











& r &


& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .

  • Pin It

Latest in News

  • Game Changer
  • Game Changer

    Since Condon became mayor, Jan Quintrall has been responsible for some of the biggest changes in the city of Spokane — and some of its biggest controversies
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • In Contempt
  • In Contempt

    A Spokane judge rules that the mental health system has willfully failed to follow evaluation deadlines
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • Never Again
  • Never Again

    Washington state lawmakers push reforms after last July's murder-suicide; plus, Spokane's police ombudsman is leaving
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri
Yule Sing Your Eye Out!

Yule Sing Your Eye Out! @ Garland Theater

Sat., Dec. 20, 5 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by n/a

  • Iron Upgrade
  • Iron Upgrade

    The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.
    • May 12, 2010
  • Seeing Gay
  • Seeing Gay

    A festival showing GLBT from all angles
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • Get Out the Vote
  • Get Out the Vote

    With all the uncertainty in the world these days, hot wings and cold beer are two things we can get behind
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • Let Us Breathe

    Spokane joins national protests over the failure to indict white officers for killing black civilians
    • Dec 10, 2014
  • Screw Big Cities

    A mid-sized manifesto
    • Dec 3, 2014
  • More »

© 2014 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation