Pin It
Favorite

Borowitz Report 

By ANDY BOROWITZ & r & & r & HUCKABEE NAMES JESUS AS RUNNING MATE & r & & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & I & lt;/span & n a bold move that could dramatically alter the playing field of the 2008 GOP presidential race, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee this week named Jesus Christ as his vice presidential running mate.





Huckabee has made an increasing number of comments about his relationship with Jesus in recent debates, but few Republican insiders expected him to announce that he was anointing Christ as his vice presidential pick.





"This could be huge for Huckabee," said Stenson Partridge, a veteran GOP consultant. "Among Republican voters, Jesus Christ is even more popular than Ronald Reagan."





The Reverend Pat Robertson, a supporter of former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, said he was "blindsided" by the news of Huckabee's decision: "I talked to Jesus last night, and He didn't mention anything about it."





At a raucous Huckabee rally in Davenport, Iowa, supporters of the former Arkansas governor could be seen holding signs reading "HUCKABEE/CHRIST '08."





It is "highly unorthodox" for a presidential candidate to select a vice presidential running mate who is a prominent figure in the Holy Bible, says Davis Logsdon, dean of the School of Divinity at the University of Minnesota.





But according to Logsdon, if the Huckabee-Christ ticket makes it all the way to the White House, it could be historic in more ways than one: "If Huckabee is elected and then something happens to him while in office, we would be looking at our first Jewish president."





Elsewhere, a madman attempted to take hostages at former Sen. Fred Thompson's campaign headquarters in Rochester, N.H., but found that everyone had been given the week off.

  • Pin It

Latest in News

  • Pacifying the Future
  • Pacifying the Future

    A local homebuilder has embraced a design strategy that could be the future of buildings
    • Apr 22, 2015
  • Surge Protectors
  • Surge Protectors

    Solar and wind power need batteries to be reliable; Demand Energy's software makes those batteries more efficient
    • Apr 22, 2015
  • Innovation Station
  • Innovation Station

    Toolbox is a space for innovative products to grow
    • Apr 22, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat
Get Lit! Festival

Get Lit! Festival @ Spokane

Through April 26

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by n/a

  • Iron Upgrade
  • Iron Upgrade

    The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.
    • May 12, 2010
  • Seeing Gay
  • Seeing Gay

    A festival showing GLBT from all angles
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • Get Out the Vote
  • Get Out the Vote

    With all the uncertainty in the world these days, hot wings and cold beer are two things we can get behind
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • Restore the Honesty

    Re-establishing trust with the public will require courage on the part of our elected officials
    • Apr 8, 2015
  • Don't Test Me

    The Smarter Balanced standardized test has sparked a rebellion in Western Washington — and it's spreading
    • Apr 15, 2015
  • More »

© 2015 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation