By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & FIDEL CASTRO BUSTS A MOVE ON VIDEO & r & & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & H & lt;/span & oping to put an end to recent rumors that he is in failing health, Cuban president Fidel Castro released an official video today in which he is shown putting on a dazzling breakdancing display to the delight of several dozen onlookers.
Speculation that Mr. Castro might be at death's door and that a new, pro-democracy government could be in the offing in Cuba has been on the rise since late last year -- a whispering campaign that the Cuban dictator's breakdancing video seems designed to snuff out.
In the three-minute video, Mr. Castro is seen breakdancing for a throng of appreciative fans, including a delirious Hugo Chavez, the president of Venezuela.
Mr. Castro, who does not appear to be even slightly winded while executing the extremely strenuous breakdancing routine, ends up on his back, spinning like a top to the amazement of his audience.
Popping to his feet, the 80-year-old dictator is then seen leading Mr. Chavez and several other dignitaries on a serpentine conga line to conclude the three-minute video.
At the White House, spokesman Tony Snow said that Mr. Castro's vigorous appearance in the breakdancing video "strained credulity" and that the tape was being studied by breakdancing experts to determine its authenticity.
"For someone who just weeks ago seemed so frail, he is busting some serious moves," Mr. Snow said.
Possibly in response to Mr. Snow's remarks, the Cuban government released another video showing Mr. Castro leading the Indianapolis Colts to a 29-17 victory over the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XLI.
Elsewhere, gun violence rose 12 percent this month, but experts attributed much of the increase to Ryan O'Neal.
& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & &
The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.