Pin It
Favorite

Borowitz Report 

By Andy Borowitz & r & & r & GIULIANI TO DEBATE HIMSELF ON ABORTION & r & & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & I & lt;/span & n a bold strategy aimed at clarifying his position on the abortion issue, former New York mayor and G.O.P. presidential hopeful Rudolph Giuliani today challenged himself to a televised debate.





The debate, to be moderated by MSNBC's Chris Matthews, appears to be unprecedented in the annals of presidential politics in that no other candidate has ever before challenged himself to a one-on-one face-off.





But speaking from his campaign headquarters in New York today, Mr. Giuliani appeared upbeat about his prospects of beating himself.





"I know exactly what to expect from me, and I will be prepared," he said. "May the best Giuliani win."





Plans for the debate are already well under way, including a stage set with two podiums, which Mr. Giuliani will shuttle back and forth between when switching from his pro-abortion stance to his anti-abortion one.





Campaign insiders say that the Giuliani-Giuliani debate is a "win-win" for the campaign, since it will show that the former New York mayor can appeal to voters on both sides of the abortion issue simultaneously.





But some observers raise a red flag of caution, remembering a similar plan from the 2004 presidential race in which Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) was to have debated himself on the war in Iraq.





The plan for the Massachusetts senator to debate himself on Iraq was ultimately scuttled by Mr. Kerry himself, who memorably told reporters, "I was for the idea of debating myself before I was against it."





Elsewhere, JetBlue founder David Neeleman said that he does not know exactly when he is departing the company because he is departing on JetBlue.








For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out borowitzreport.com.

  • Pin It

Latest in News

  • Seven Ways Drought is Impacting the Inland Northwest
  • Seven Ways Drought is Impacting the Inland Northwest

    No, it's not as bad as in California, but drought is taking a hefty toll
    • Jul 29, 2015
  • Hopeless for Heroin
  • Hopeless for Heroin

    As heroin deaths continue to rise in Washington state, what can a parent do to save a child from the depths of addiction?
    • Jul 29, 2015
  • Call Mr. Yuk
  • Call Mr. Yuk

    Gov. Inslee avoids the "poison pill"; plus, pushing back against empty Kickstarter promises
    • Jul 29, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon
Moscow ArtWalk 2015

Moscow ArtWalk 2015 @ Downtown Moscow

Tuesdays, Thursdays, Sundays. Continues through Aug. 31

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by n/a

  • Iron Upgrade
  • Iron Upgrade

    The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.
    • May 12, 2010
  • Seeing Gay
  • Seeing Gay

    A festival showing GLBT from all angles
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • Get Out the Vote
  • Get Out the Vote

    With all the uncertainty in the world these days, hot wings and cold beer are two things we can get behind
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • Patrolling While Black

    Gordon Grant's nearly 30 years as a Spokane cop have been affected by race, but that's not the whole story
    • Jul 8, 2015
  • Hopeless for Heroin

    As heroin deaths continue to rise in Washington state, what can a parent do to save a child from the depths of addiction?
    • Jul 29, 2015
  • More »

Top Tags in
News & Comment

Comment


Briefs


Publisher's Note


marijuana


Community


© 2015 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation