Pin It
Favorite

Diva Scuffle - Carrie vs Gladys 

Though we've done a lot of good work in the past year comparing absurdly different acts using mostly made-up criteria, this might be our most important effort to date. After all, 2005 American Idol Champion Carrie Underwood and 1953-forever pop champion Gladys Knight are both going to be in Spokane this week. Everyone knows -- as per a) Time Cop and b) Highlander respectively -- that a) if two divas inhabit the same place at the same time, they implode and b) if one diva is able to lop off the head of another diva, the head-lopper gains the lopped one's powers. The conflict, now, since there can be only one:

Musical Variety

Gladys: Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame-type soul and R & B

Carrie: The kind of hybridized pop/country that Nashville loves complimenting itself for producing

ADVANTAGE: KNIGHT

Place Among Peers

Gladys: Holds her own against Patty LaBelle, Aretha Franklin et al.

Carrie: Generally considered the least talented Idol winner, though she destroys Taylor Hicks in star value

ADVANTAGE: KNIGHT

Personal Quirks

Gladys: Mormon, gambling addict

Carrie: PETA-voted sexiest vegetarian

ADVANTAGE: UNDERWOOD

Classier Sorority

Gladys: Alpha Kappa Alpha is America's first sorority established by black college women

Carrie: Sigma Sigma Sigma's other famous alumni are the creator of the Care Bears, the author of Where the Heart Is, and two popular porn stars

ADVANTAGE: KNIGHT

Winner: Gladys Knight

Gladys Knight at Northern Quest Casino on Saturday, Aug. 5, at 8:30 pm. Tickets: $50-$60. Visit Ticketswest.com or call 325-SEAT.

Carrie Underwood at the Spokane Arena's Star Theatre on Monday, Aug. 7, at 7:30 pm. Tickets: $30-$40. Visit Ticketswest.com or call 325-SEAT.

  • Pin It

Latest in Comment

  • Everybody's Business
  • Everybody's Business

    Publisher's Note
    • Sep 2, 2015
  • Enough is Enough
  • Enough is Enough

    Too many students are being sexually assaulted on our college campuses
    • Sep 2, 2015
  • Trick or Treaty?
  • Trick or Treaty?

    Even Ronald Reagan would sign a treaty with evil empires when it served the cause of peace on earth
    • Sep 2, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed
Mobius Children's Museum's 10th Birthday

Mobius Children's Museum's 10th Birthday @ Mobius Children's Museum

Sat., Sept. 5, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by Luke Baumgarten

  • Chasing Whales
  • Chasing Whales

    Let's focus less on courting big companies and focus more on nurturing big ideas
    • Feb 5, 2015
  • Completely Repellent
  • Completely Repellent

    How can we expect people to find constructive uses for space that wasn't built for them?
    • Dec 30, 2014
  • Screw Big Cities
  • Screw Big Cities

    A mid-sized manifesto
    • Dec 3, 2014
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • Manufacturing Fear

    Spokane's Republican sheriff says members of his own party are dangerously dividing people
    • Aug 12, 2015
  • 'Flip of a Coin'

    A Spokane Valley deputy trained to spot stoned and drunk drivers is wrong nearly as often as he is right, blood tests from drivers show
    • Aug 19, 2015
  • More »

Top Tags in
News & Comment

Briefs


marijuana


Comment


Publisher's Note


BUSINESS


© 2015 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation