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Rep Joe Wilson (R-SC), tennis legend Serena Williams and recording artist Kanye West held a press conference in Washington, D.C. earlier this week to kick off the first annual National Outburst Week.

“We’re here to celebrate every American’s right to unleash a sudden, unprovoked verbal outburst,” Ms. Williams said. “And if you don’t like it, you can shove this tennis ball down your f---ing…” “Hold up, Serena,” said Mr. West, seizing the microphone. “I just want to say that Beyonce’s video is one of the greatest videos of all…” “You lie!” shouted Rep. Wilson. In a related story, saying that “uncontrolled verbal outbursts are becoming a scourge on our society,” President Barack Obama named Vice President Joe Biden to chair a newly formed commission on outbursts.

While Mr. Obama’s decision to create the commission was seen as a thinly veiled spanking of Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.), who last week shouted, “You lie!” at Mr. Obama in the House of Representatives, it may also have been intended to deflect criticism from Mr. Obama himself, who this week called recording artist Kanye West a “jackass.”

Mr. Obama said that verbal outbursts were a growing problem and could cost billions of dollars annually in beer summits alone.

“Regardless of how you feel about a national commission on outbursts, I think we can all agree that Joe Biden is the perfect person to head it up,” Mr. Obama said.

For more fake news from awardwinning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out

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