Pin It
Favorite

Love Ranch 

There’s no business like ho business, but not even sex can sell this movie.

click to enlarge Love Ranch
  • Love Ranch

Apparently, every single man ever exposed to her has found helen Mirren to be the ultimate “silver fox.” so, boys, here’s a tip: Helen Mirren’s naked nipple makes its appearance 63 minutes into Love Ranch.

Somewhat by default, breasts play a prominent role in this film about the first legal brothel near Reno, Nev. It chronicles “he Love Ranch” and its owners: Charlie (Joe Pesci) and his wife Grace (Mirren).

The two are in a loveless marriage. Charlie plays that he loves and respects Grace, but he seems to enjoy cheating on her, manipulating politics and frivolously spending their money while she bitterly works to manage the “25 psychotic whores” whom they employ. His tantrums and irresponsibility outline their roles. He’s the child. She’s his mother.

One day, during a particularly extravagant spending spree, Charlie buys an Argentinean boxer named Armando Bruza (Sergio Peris-Mencheta). Bruza is revered as a god in his home country, but in Reno, he is scraping by. Charlie brings Bruza back to the ranch to train and names Grace as his manager. Eventually, the two go to bed together. (As will happen in a brothel. But this was love. Really.)

Bruza is handsome, her husband is a jerk and she’s dying of cancer, so Grace decides to leave the ranch with Bruza. Then disaster strikes.

Love Ranch isn’t terrible, but it isn’t good, either. It’s bogged down by attempts to capture the spirit of the era, but the endless montages of ‘70s Reno are merely annoying. Constant and overdone reminders that this is a whorehouse where whores have sex (gasp!) make the whole thing come off as tacky — and not in a hip, retro way.

What’s worse is the abrupt ending, which feels lazy, and makes everything interesting that leads up to it fall flat.

Worst of all, however, is having to watch Pesci receive, um, oral gratification. Remember Harvey Keitel’s full-frontal bravado in The Piano (1993)? ?This is worse. Keitel wasn’t making his o-face. (Rated R)

Tags:

  • Pin It

Latest in Film

  • A Load of Scrat
  • A Load of Scrat

    Ice Age: Collision Course continues a franchise that keeps going only because it can
    • Jul 21, 2016
  • Cats and Dogs
  • Cats and Dogs

    The Secret Life of Pets is a pure joy of the imagination
    • Jul 14, 2016
  • Ain't Afraid of 
No Feminism
  • Ain't Afraid of No Feminism

    The Ghostbusters reboot dishes out laughs with a new team of ghoul chasers
    • Jul 14, 2016
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon
Buffalo Jones, Bryan John Appleby, the Backups

Buffalo Jones, Bryan John Appleby, the Backups @ The Big Dipper

Wed., July 27, 9 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

or

More by Tiffany Harms

Most Commented On

Top Tags in
Music & Film

Film


Review


Readers also liked…

  • Where Are the Women?
  • Where Are the Women?

    A critic's year-long deep dive into the way movies portray half of humanity
    • May 12, 2016
  • The One Who Knocks
  • The One Who Knocks

    Why an Australian indie called The Babadook became one of 2014's creepiest films
    • Dec 17, 2014

© 2016 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation