Pin It
Favorite

Love Ranch 

There’s no business like ho business, but not even sex can sell this movie.

click to enlarge Love Ranch
  • Love Ranch

Apparently, every single man ever exposed to her has found helen Mirren to be the ultimate “silver fox.” so, boys, here’s a tip: Helen Mirren’s naked nipple makes its appearance 63 minutes into Love Ranch.

Somewhat by default, breasts play a prominent role in this film about the first legal brothel near Reno, Nev. It chronicles “he Love Ranch” and its owners: Charlie (Joe Pesci) and his wife Grace (Mirren).

The two are in a loveless marriage. Charlie plays that he loves and respects Grace, but he seems to enjoy cheating on her, manipulating politics and frivolously spending their money while she bitterly works to manage the “25 psychotic whores” whom they employ. His tantrums and irresponsibility outline their roles. He’s the child. She’s his mother.

One day, during a particularly extravagant spending spree, Charlie buys an Argentinean boxer named Armando Bruza (Sergio Peris-Mencheta). Bruza is revered as a god in his home country, but in Reno, he is scraping by. Charlie brings Bruza back to the ranch to train and names Grace as his manager. Eventually, the two go to bed together. (As will happen in a brothel. But this was love. Really.)

Bruza is handsome, her husband is a jerk and she’s dying of cancer, so Grace decides to leave the ranch with Bruza. Then disaster strikes.

Love Ranch isn’t terrible, but it isn’t good, either. It’s bogged down by attempts to capture the spirit of the era, but the endless montages of ‘70s Reno are merely annoying. Constant and overdone reminders that this is a whorehouse where whores have sex (gasp!) make the whole thing come off as tacky — and not in a hip, retro way.

What’s worse is the abrupt ending, which feels lazy, and makes everything interesting that leads up to it fall flat.

Worst of all, however, is having to watch Pesci receive, um, oral gratification. Remember Harvey Keitel’s full-frontal bravado in The Piano (1993)? ?This is worse. Keitel wasn’t making his o-face. (Rated R)

Tags:

  • Pin It

Latest in Film

  • Political Power
  • Political Power

    Jessica Chastain is a crafty, badass D.C. lobbyist in Miss Sloane
    • Dec 8, 2016
  • Two and a Half Men
  • Two and a Half Men

    Moonlight beautifully examines the intersection of sexuality and masculinity
    • Dec 8, 2016
  • Man and Wife
  • Man and Wife

    Simple, non-heroic love changes the world in Loving
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed
Night Moves, Jan Francisco, Runaway Octopus

Night Moves, Jan Francisco, Runaway Octopus @ The Bartlett

Sat., Dec. 10, 8 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

or

More by Tiffany Harms

Most Commented On

  • Wanna Rock?

    A slew of '80s glam favorites come to Wreck The Halls of Spokane Arena
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • Big Themes

    Disney's Moana is the empowering and fascinating tale we need right now
    • Nov 23, 2016
  • More »

Top Tags in
Music & Film

Film


Review


Readers also liked…

  • Where Are the Women?
  • Where Are the Women?

    A critic's year-long deep dive into the way movies portray half of humanity
    • May 12, 2016
  • Desert Rage
  • Desert Rage

    Mad Max: Fury Road will restore your faith in action movies
    • May 13, 2015

© 2016 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation