Pin It
Favorite

Love Ranch 

There’s no business like ho business, but not even sex can sell this movie.

click to enlarge Love Ranch
  • Love Ranch

Apparently, every single man ever exposed to her has found helen Mirren to be the ultimate “silver fox.” so, boys, here’s a tip: Helen Mirren’s naked nipple makes its appearance 63 minutes into Love Ranch.

Somewhat by default, breasts play a prominent role in this film about the first legal brothel near Reno, Nev. It chronicles “he Love Ranch” and its owners: Charlie (Joe Pesci) and his wife Grace (Mirren).

The two are in a loveless marriage. Charlie plays that he loves and respects Grace, but he seems to enjoy cheating on her, manipulating politics and frivolously spending their money while she bitterly works to manage the “25 psychotic whores” whom they employ. His tantrums and irresponsibility outline their roles. He’s the child. She’s his mother.

One day, during a particularly extravagant spending spree, Charlie buys an Argentinean boxer named Armando Bruza (Sergio Peris-Mencheta). Bruza is revered as a god in his home country, but in Reno, he is scraping by. Charlie brings Bruza back to the ranch to train and names Grace as his manager. Eventually, the two go to bed together. (As will happen in a brothel. But this was love. Really.)

Bruza is handsome, her husband is a jerk and she’s dying of cancer, so Grace decides to leave the ranch with Bruza. Then disaster strikes.

Love Ranch isn’t terrible, but it isn’t good, either. It’s bogged down by attempts to capture the spirit of the era, but the endless montages of ‘70s Reno are merely annoying. Constant and overdone reminders that this is a whorehouse where whores have sex (gasp!) make the whole thing come off as tacky — and not in a hip, retro way.

What’s worse is the abrupt ending, which feels lazy, and makes everything interesting that leads up to it fall flat.

Worst of all, however, is having to watch Pesci receive, um, oral gratification. Remember Harvey Keitel’s full-frontal bravado in The Piano (1993)? ?This is worse. Keitel wasn’t making his o-face. (Rated R)

Tags:

  • Pin It

Latest in Film

  • Living in a Song
  • Living in a Song

    Noam Baumbach and Greta Gerwig gives us a familiar yet engaging story in Mistress America
    • Sep 2, 2015
  • A Hike Becomes a Death March
  • A Hike Becomes a Death March

    A Walk in the Woods lacks a cinematic smart-ass
    • Sep 2, 2015
  • Slaying The Shark
  • Slaying The Shark

    Meru is one outdoors doc that knows a great story trumps great stunts
    • Aug 26, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu
Spokane Symphony Labor Day in the Parks

Spokane Symphony Labor Day in the Parks @ Pavillion Park

Sat., Sept. 5, 6 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

or

More by Tiffany Harms

Most Commented On

  • To the Point

    Melvins' Buzz Osborne doesn't care what you think, and he never did
    • Aug 26, 2015
  • Spokane Sounds Like...

    The music we're more likely to listen to than any other city
    • Aug 19, 2015
  • More »

Top Tags in
Music & Film

Film


Music


Review


Punk


Festival


© 2015 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation