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by Inlander Staff


Are We There Yet? -- Are We There Yet? fulfills every low expectation that its target audience will bring to the cinema. Nick (Ice Cube) plays a 35-year-old case of arrested development who makes the mistake of playing foot servant to Suzanne (Nia Long). Rated: PG





The Aviator -- Scorsese, DiCaprio, Hughes -- as in Howard -- are director, star and subject of this splendid look at three busy decades in the life of the industrialist, filmmaker and airplane nut. The script gives plenty of leeway for DiCaprio to show his acting chops. (ES) Rated PG-13





Because of Winn-Dixie -- There's a formula at work in this lonely-girl-and-her-dog movie, and it's sho'nuff gonna lead to a reconciliation. Winn-Dixie is predictable and sentimental, but that doesn't completely invalidate the value of Wayne Wang's movie. While Winn-Dixie will be suitably heartwarming for an older crowd, the preteen and younger crowd will like the burping dog. (Michael Bowen) Rated: PG





The Boogeyman -- Guess who's coming out of the closet? We don't know his name, but all the little kids like to sing "When you see him count to five, hope that you will stay alive." Barry Watson plays a troubled young man who returns to his childhood home to confront his demons -- both real and imagined. Rated: PG-13





Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death -- If the name didn't clue you in, allow me to elaborate. Cannibal Women spoofs the Indiana Jones films with a feminist adventurer tracking the dangerous Piranha Women through the wilds of San Bernardino. A bevy of scantily clad vixens (that even by 1989 were getting a little long in the tooth) attempt to add spice. Saturday at Midnight at CenterStage (Mike Corrigan)





Constantine -- Keanu Reeves tries to break out of the Matrix mold with mixed results: He's as wooden as ever, but he gets to toss off some great one-liners. To solve a mystery, he has to go to Hell for answers. With shades of Wings of Desire and Chinatown. Better than Van Helsing but not as good as Hellboy. Rated R (Cole Smithey)





Cursed -- There were reputedly no screenings for this Wes Craven mishmash of werewolves, teenagers and Christina Ricci -- often a sign the studio has no faith in it. A brother and sister, still grieving the untimely death of their parents, get into a nasty car accident where somehow they get infected with the toothy/hairy/full-moon blues. Rated: PG-13





Diary of a Mad Black Woman -- Like Stella a few years ago, this new movie tells the story of how yet another black woman (Kimberly Elise) gets her groove back. But the movie's melodramatic strife is leavened with broad slapstick strokes, which creates a bizarrely uneven tone. Despite the film's hoary clich & eacute;s and the bad drag of actor/screenwriter Tyler Perry (who plays three roles), viewers seem to respond to Helen's ups and downs. (Marjorie Baumgarten) Rated: PG-13





Finding Neverland -- A dramatic, yet kind of whimsical look at how J.M. Barrie (Johnny Depp) was inspired to write the play Peter Pan -- by meeting a widow (Kate Winslet) with four young boys who definitely could use a father figure. (ES) Rated PG





Hide and Seek -- Widower Robert DeNiro gets a little concerned when his daughter (Dakota Fanning) starts talking about an invisible friend. Is it a little girl's way of dealing with the death of her mother, or could it be that the invisible friend is something far more sinister? Rated: R





Hitch -- Breezy romantic comedy gets a big boost here with Will Smith as the title character, a "date coach" for unsure men, and Kevin James (The King of Queens) as one of those men, who is shooting for the sky with a beautiful heiress (Amber Valletta). But the coach isn't having much luck with the ladies, and when his eyes pop over gossip columnist Eva Mendes, things get complicated. (ES) Rated PG-13





Hotel Rwanda -- This scrappy, powerful and shocking film, recounting the horrific civil unrest in Rwanda a decade ago, has echoes of current events (in Sudan) that cannot be ignored. Don Cheadle, as the real life hotelier (Paul Rusesabagina) who saved literally thousands, carries the film on his slim shoulders with ease and turns in the finest performance of his career. (Marc Savlov) Rated: PG-13





The Incredibles -- This is a major departure from Finding Nemo in that all the characters are humans. One of them, Mr. Incredible is a former superhero who was forced to retire and is now in insurance, but misses his old life. (ES) Rated PG





Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events -- A Series of Unfortunate Events is at once bleak, sinister, comic and, above all, weirdly beautiful. Imaginary author Lemony Snicket's tale of three orphans pitted against their evil relative, Count Olaf, resonates with real peril. While the plot does sometimes get lost in slow pacing and Jim Carrey will overact, the three children playing the young Baudelaires inhabit their parts with a genuine charm. Not for younger kids. (Sheri Boggs) Rated: PG





Lewis & amp; Clark -- The IMAX folks have packed a lot into this vivid account of the two adventurers' travels across the American wilderness. Narrator Jeff Bridges does pretty much all the speaking, while actors play out the scenes. And those scenes are played out in breathtakingly beautiful settings. Unrated





Man of the House -- Five bouncy college cheerleaders witness a murder and veteran FBI agent Tommy Lee Jones has to go undercover as an assistant coach in order to protect their safety. Cedric the Entertainer blows out the seat of his pants, and Tommy Lee Jones gets the obligatory slumber party/let's-give-the-grumpy-old-guy-a-makeover-with-facial-mask-and-cucumber-slices scene. Rated: PG-13





Meet the Fockers -- In Meet the Parents, Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) asks, "What sort of people name their son Gay M. Focker?" In this sequel, he finds out. In fact, the kind of people are Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand, and the Byrnes are off to meet the Fockers before their daughter marries Gay forever. Rated: PG-13





Million Dollar Baby -- Clint Eastwood plays the crusty old boxing trainer, Hilary Swank is his enthusiastic young charge and Morgan Freeman is the wise observer. Swank's spunky Maggie must convince Eastwood's Frankie to become her teacher. She's really good, with great desire to match her moves. Eastwood's film traces her comet-like rise. (ES) Rated PG-13





Mystery of the Nile -- The cinematography is gorgeous, but this isn't one of IMAX's best efforts. Pasquale Scaturro and Gordon Brown are to be commended for successfully completing a previously impossible feat -- running the entire Nile River -- but the whole thing starts to feel like an episode of Survivor. Sketchy editing leaves some interesting stories (for instance the account of a croc attack) unfinished and others strangely lacking a sense of urgency in spite of the very real dangers the crew faced. Still, it's pretty to watch and carries a few IMAX moments. Not Rated





Ocean's Twelve -- George Clooney, Brad Pitt and all the rest are back in a rousing follow-up to Ocean's Eleven that turns out to be a much looser romp. It's one of those rarities: a sequel better than the original. (ES) Rated PG-13





The Phantom Of The Opera -- The Andrew Lloyd Webber sensation gets a rousing cinematic treatment. It's hard to figure which will be more popular -- the bombastic score, or the story of the masked man (Gerard Butler) who falls for the chorus girl (Emmy Rossum). (ES) Rated PG-13





Pink Floyd The Wall -- Pink Floyd's Roger Waters penned this by now infamous rock opera film that tells the story of a jaded rock singer named Pink (played by the Boomtown Rats' Bob Geldof). Nobody ever understood poor Pink, and so he builds a "wall" around himself for protection from the evil forces of conformist society. Now he's so burned out on the music business that he can only perform when he's hopped up on dope. Which is pretty much the altered state you need to be in yourself to extract anything very profound out of this 1982 film. Midnight Friday and Saturday (Mike Corrigan)





Pooh's Heffalump Movie -- Originally slated to be straight-to-video, this one pulls a big bait-and-switch: Disney advertises the menacing mastodons of Pooh's golden era, but the film delivers just another cutesy character. The film eventually offers up a nice message, but it's hard not to feel like Disney is simply cashing in. RATED: G (Ted McGregor)





Sideways -- Miles (Paul Giamatti) and Jack (Thomas Haden Church) are two pals who go on a West Coast wine-tasting tour, just before Jack is to get married and Miles is to find out if his novel is being published. They both meet women on the road (Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh), and the film jumps back and forth between vibrant comedy and emotional distress. (ES) Rated R





Son of the Mask -- Tim Avery (Jamie Kennedy) is a failed cartoonist working in a brightly colored playhouse run by Steven Wright, whose wife (Traylor Howard) wants a child. Predictably, the little bundle of joy is conceived after Tim's been at a party wearing the Mask of Loki (from a certain Jim Carrey movie of the '90s). A five-minute opening scene with a braying Ben Stein is truly annoying. (RP) Rated: PG





The Wedding Date -- Kat (Debra Messing) is a girl in trouble, and we don't mean in the diapers-and-surprise way. Nope, trouble is a sister's wedding where your ex is a groomsman. Kat does what any sensible woman in such a predicament would do -- she hires the best damn male escort in all of Manhattan. Rated: PG-13





Publication date: 03/03/04