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Opening Films 

by Inlander Staff & r & The Cave -- The second-funniest thing about The Cave is that it's rated PG-13 for "Intense Creature Violence." The very funniest thing, however, is the movie's slogan: "Beneath heaven lies hell. Beneath hell lies The Cave." What does that even mean? It means a group of expert spelunkers spelunk a scosch too far this time around, venturing into the "world's largest cave system" to find lost comrades. Tsk, tsk -- not a good idea, kids. The no-name cast members get lost, then come in contact with a lot of really intense creatures. I guess it's like hell, only deeper. Rated PG-13

The Brothers Grimm -- This much-delayed Terry Gilliam (Brazil) project is finally getting its day in the sun. Wilhelm and Jacob Grimm (Matt Damon and Heath Ledger) adventure into the forest only to find manifestations of their wild and prolific imaginations. Monica Belluci plays the kind of evil queen who would make even Snow White's stepmother blanch. Rated PG-13

Undiscovered -- Well, this is the first we've heard about Undiscovered, a film (starring Ashlee Simpson, no less) that just jumped onto our radar screen without the slightest bit of forewarning. Why are the studios being so sneaky with this one? Hmm. Maybe there's a clue to be found in the plot outline: "A group of aspiring entertainers try to establish careers for themselves in the city of Los Angeles." Nope, no clues there. Rated PG-13

Wolves -- Musician Robbie Robertson (of the Band) narrates this 1999 documentary about nature's most misunderstood carnivore. At IMAX Rated G

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