by Inlander Staff & r & ARE WE DONE YET?
Is this movie over yet? That's what I was asking myself after about 15 minutes of its relentless unfunniness. A remake of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, it features Ice Cube as a clueless buffoon who's suckered into buying a crumbling house, Nia Long as his pregnant and idiotic wife, and John C. McGinley as the smiling, overeager real estate agent who sucks their funds dry. On all counts, a painfully bad movie. (ES) Rated PG
"Now, a dog who needs a home, and a kid who needs a friend ..." comes the trailer's voice over. "No mom and a firefighter dad," comes the peanut gallery, a coquettish firefighter edited in to provide perspective, before the voice-over guy chimes back in, "... are about to find each other." Sometimes a trailer tells you literally everything you need to know. Kid, check. Dead mom, check. Harried, absentee father, check. Lost dog. Yep, they got everything. (LB) Rated PG
Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez attempt to lionize bad movies by releasing a double feature attempting to be as ridiculous as their sources. Tarantino's Death Proof is a car-chase film mixed with slasher elements. Planet Terror is a zombie flick with Rose McGowan playing a chick with a machine gun leg. Fake negative scratches and clipped dialogue complete the effect. (LB) Rated R
"I once had a girlfriend who went to India. Came back thin as a rail," says a moron socialite before asking Gogol Ganguli when he moved to America. "I was born in New York," comes the reply. Director Mira Nair's (Monsoon Wedding, Vanity Fair) latest film is about the uneasy tightrope walked by many Indian-Americans. Gogol wants to respect his parents' sometimes restrictive traditions, despite being thoroughly American. (LB) Rated PG-13
Hilary Swank delves into the religious-thriller genre as a minister who has lost her faith and gone on to a career of myth debunking. The myth she runs across in The Reaping turns out to be a biblical-scale plague in a small, superstitious Southern community -- the sort of thing to scare a person back into believing. (MD) Rated R