by INLANDER STAFF & r & & r & 10,000 B.C. & r & & r & Holy anachronisms Batman! Somehow the metal-sword-wielding, pyramid-building Bronze Age Egyptians (the ones who lived around 2,500 B.C.) figured out a way to travel back in time or something to 10,000 B.C., when dreadlocked stone-age hunter-gatherers were still stalking mammoths across the savannahs of Africa, to enslave the barely dressed nomads. Either that, or no one involved with the making of this film has a grasp of the ordering of prehistoric epochs. Seriously, saber-tooth tiger fights on the pyramids at Giza!? Plus, it's directed by Roland Emmerich, who's never met a computer-generated effect he didn't love, so expect those saber-teeth to be a bit pixelly around the edges. (LB) Rated PG-13
THE BANK JOB
A heist caper about a 1971 British safe-deposit box burglary becomes ridiculously entertaining in director Roger Donaldson's retelling, mostly because of the subsequent newspaper gag order and government cover-up. Jason Statham leads a bunch of patsies who think they're clever when they're actually being set up to take a fall. They may be the villains, but they're proper British villains, and they're fun to root for. (MAJ) Rated R
COLLEGE ROAD TRIP
Martin Lawrence plays a cop and overprotective father ferrying his daughter (Raven-Symone) around the country to visit colleges. Good old-fashioned family hilarity ensues, as dad scares away boys and wrecks the family SUV. Just when things couldn't possibly get any funnier, Donny Osmond shows up as a gratingly cheery WASP dad. It's like Bad Boys meets Big Momma (but with Donny Osmond). (JS) Rated G
MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY
Frances McDormand, playing an out-of-work nanny, heads to the house of Amy Adams, playing something of a slutty wannabe starlet. Amy needs help with her "boys," who turn out to be not children, but three grown men all vying for her arm. A comedy of errors set in wartime London. Call up Grammy, it's time for a matinee! (LB) Rated PG-13
The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.