Pin It
Favorite

Spooky Season 

Last-minute costume ideas from the world of politics.

click to enlarge art15794.jpg

Right about now, you’re probably thinking, “Why the cuss am I wasting my precious time reading McGregor’s column — I need a Halloween costume! Pronto!”

Well, this is your lucky week as I’m taking a break from the dour predictions of our political demise to perform an even more crucial public service. That’s right, it’s my First Annual Guide To Last-Minute Halloween Costumes You Can Create From Junk You Have Laying Around.

So let’s get to it: You can always play it straightforward, and you’ll get approving nods from all. You could be the Old Spice guy — you just need a towel, a tube of Swagger and some six-pack abs. But the killer costume requires more — and laughs are the best proof of a great get-up. Lady Gaga and her meat suit would, of course, be hilarious — but expensive, unless you’ve got some surplus sirloin in the fridge. But twist it just a little — maybe it’s the vegan version, with a dress made of tofu? (If you’re out of tofu, just substitute yogurt.)

It’s always fun for couples to go as a matched set, and this year don’t just settle for Snooki and the Situation. Not when Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are so ripe for the picking. Just dress up in your nicest suits, smile, act clueless and, from time to time, ask people if they know of any jobs opening up in, say, mid-January. If you prefer your mockery to be more universally embraced, go as Kim Jong Il and his idiot son — all you need is hair gel, giant sunglasses and a big, red button. Don’t forget to wear your best yeah-I’m-really-freakin’-crazy grin all night.

Sometimes a sign around your neck can be twist enough. For example, go as a witch — black hat, broomstick, pointy shoes — but wear a sign that says, “I am not a witch.” As an added bonus, your Christine O’Donnell can carry around a copy of the Bill of Rights, redacted with all the un-American parts blacked out.

But hands down, my No. 1 costume for 2010 landed in our laps like a dream just last week. Yes, I’m talking about Jimmy McMillan, long-shot candidate for governor of New York who represents the Rent Is 2 Damn High Party. So pull some stuffing out of that old chair in the basement, style it into his signature handlebar mustache and poofy goatee, and you’re good to go. But all night, no matter the question, you are allowed only one response: “The rent! It’s too damn high!”

Okay, fine — you can also say, “Now gimme some candy!” 

  • Pin It

Speaking of...

  • Recall and Response
  • Recall and Response

    The attempt to remove Spokane Mayor David Condon from office may be a long shot, but he isn't taking any chances
    • Aug 25, 2016
  • Ugly Breakup
  • Ugly Breakup

    The long-running rift between the mayor and the city council president just got worse
    • Jun 9, 2016
  • Beggs for a Solution
  • Beggs for a Solution

    In the three months Breean Beggs has been on the council, he's pitched out-of-the-box ideas for some of the city's stickiest problems
    • Jun 2, 2016
  • More »

Latest in Comment

  • Class Act
  • Class Act

    Seeing through money differences can build relationships focused on fairness
    • Sep 22, 2016
  • Don's Ultimate Con
  • Don's Ultimate Con

    Trail Mix: Trump's birther problems and Johnson's polls
    • Sep 22, 2016
  • Transparent Motives
  • Transparent Motives

    One candidate's an open book; the other is shrouded in secrecy. Guess which one isn't transparent enough
    • Sep 22, 2016
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun
Washington State Chinese Lantern Festival

Washington State Chinese Lantern Festival @ Riverfront Park

Through Oct. 30

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by Ted S. McGregor Jr.

  • After the Deluge
  • After the Deluge

    Cleaning up Trump's hot mess is going to take some heroic leadership
    • Sep 1, 2016
  • <b>From Crimson &#10;to Purple</b>
  • From Crimson to Purple

    Bob Gregory was a Spokane-bred Cougar through and through; now he's prowling the sidelines for the Huskies
    • Sep 1, 2016
  • Staying Engaged
  • Staying Engaged

    From the Mayfair Cafe to Central Park
    • Aug 4, 2016
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • To Kill the Black Snake

    Historic all-tribes protest at Standing Rock is meant to stop the destruction of the earth for all
    • Sep 8, 2016
  • Murrow's Nightmare

    Debate moderators need to be much more than an onstage prop to make our democracy work
    • Sep 15, 2016
  • More »

Top Tags in
News & Comment

election 2016


trail mix


Briefs


green zone


marijuana


Readers also liked…

  • To Kill the Black Snake
  • To Kill the Black Snake

    Historic all-tribes protest at Standing Rock is meant to stop the destruction of the earth for all
    • Sep 8, 2016
  • A Persistent Life
  • A Persistent Life

    Scott Reed won more cases than he lost in life, and the beauty of the Coeur d'Alene area has been the beneficiary
    • May 27, 2015

© 2016 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation