Pin It
Favorite

Spooky Season 

Last-minute costume ideas from the world of politics.

click to enlarge art15794.jpg

Right about now, you’re probably thinking, “Why the cuss am I wasting my precious time reading McGregor’s column — I need a Halloween costume! Pronto!”

Well, this is your lucky week as I’m taking a break from the dour predictions of our political demise to perform an even more crucial public service. That’s right, it’s my First Annual Guide To Last-Minute Halloween Costumes You Can Create From Junk You Have Laying Around.

So let’s get to it: You can always play it straightforward, and you’ll get approving nods from all. You could be the Old Spice guy — you just need a towel, a tube of Swagger and some six-pack abs. But the killer costume requires more — and laughs are the best proof of a great get-up. Lady Gaga and her meat suit would, of course, be hilarious — but expensive, unless you’ve got some surplus sirloin in the fridge. But twist it just a little — maybe it’s the vegan version, with a dress made of tofu? (If you’re out of tofu, just substitute yogurt.)

It’s always fun for couples to go as a matched set, and this year don’t just settle for Snooki and the Situation. Not when Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are so ripe for the picking. Just dress up in your nicest suits, smile, act clueless and, from time to time, ask people if they know of any jobs opening up in, say, mid-January. If you prefer your mockery to be more universally embraced, go as Kim Jong Il and his idiot son — all you need is hair gel, giant sunglasses and a big, red button. Don’t forget to wear your best yeah-I’m-really-freakin’-crazy grin all night.

Sometimes a sign around your neck can be twist enough. For example, go as a witch — black hat, broomstick, pointy shoes — but wear a sign that says, “I am not a witch.” As an added bonus, your Christine O’Donnell can carry around a copy of the Bill of Rights, redacted with all the un-American parts blacked out.

But hands down, my No. 1 costume for 2010 landed in our laps like a dream just last week. Yes, I’m talking about Jimmy McMillan, long-shot candidate for governor of New York who represents the Rent Is 2 Damn High Party. So pull some stuffing out of that old chair in the basement, style it into his signature handlebar mustache and poofy goatee, and you’re good to go. But all night, no matter the question, you are allowed only one response: “The rent! It’s too damn high!”

Okay, fine — you can also say, “Now gimme some candy!” 

  • Pin It

Speaking of...

  • Obscene Gestures
  • Obscene Gestures

    Spokane political party leaders hope to harness post-election passion into civil discourse. But so far, there's only been more strife
    • Feb 9, 2017
  • The Other Washington
  • The Other Washington

    Our local state representatives and senators gear up for another year of fights over education, taxes and crime
    • Jan 18, 2017
  • The Gem State's Agenda
  • The Gem State's Agenda

    What to watch for in the Idaho legislature's 2017 session
    • Jan 18, 2017
  • More »

Latest in Comment

  • Trust Busters
  • Trust Busters

    Why strengthening antitrust policy is essential to our economic well-being
    • Feb 23, 2017
  • Mardi Bras
  • Mardi Bras

    Do Something: How to get involved with your community this week
    • Feb 23, 2017
  • Facts, Not Fairy Tales
  • Facts, Not Fairy Tales

    In Boise, state leaders are doing their best to prevent students from learning scientific facts
    • Feb 23, 2017
  • More »

Readers also liked…

  • To Kill the Black Snake
  • To Kill the Black Snake

    Historic all-tribes protest at Standing Rock is meant to stop the destruction of the earth for all
    • Sep 8, 2016
  • Connecting the Dots
  • Connecting the Dots

    How the Washington state budget touches us all in Eastern Washington
    • Aug 26, 2015
  • Otter Incompetence
  • Otter Incompetence

    Idaho's governor and his staff can't even get the easy things right
    • Sep 16, 2015

Comments


Comments are closed.

Today | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed
A Little Night Music

A Little Night Music @ Spokane Civic Theatre

Thursdays-Saturdays, 7:30 p.m. and Sundays, 2 p.m. Continues through March 5

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by Ted S. McGregor Jr.

Most Commented On

  • We Have Not Yet Begun to Fight

    Why we're filling the streets to protest Trump's inhumane, dangerous policies
    • Feb 2, 2017
  • Obscene Gestures

    Spokane political party leaders hope to harness post-election passion into civil discourse. But so far, there's only been more strife
    • Feb 9, 2017
  • More »

Top Tags in
News & Comment

briefs


green zone


marijuana


Comment


do something


Readers also liked…

  • To Kill the Black Snake
  • To Kill the Black Snake

    Historic all-tribes protest at Standing Rock is meant to stop the destruction of the earth for all
    • Sep 8, 2016
  • A Mixed Legacy
  • A Mixed Legacy

    A new national historical park must do more than just commemorate the Manhattan Project
    • Aug 5, 2015
  • Planning a Heist
  • Planning a Heist

    Believe what many Idaho legislators are saying: They want to turn our public lands private
    • May 26, 2016

© 2017 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation