Pin It
Favorite

The Asskickers 

For mindless retro action, The Asskickers kicks ass.

click to enlarge After the kicking comes the spanking
  • After the kicking comes the spanking

The Asskickers, as its name suggests, is a game about kicking ass. So how does this make The Asskickers different from hundreds of other videogames?

For starters, the asses in The Asskickers are all hand-drawn. Most asses in videogames these days are the result of hundreds of hours spent staring at computer screens, arranging wire-frame models into three-dimensional domes and encoding them with digital jiggles and jives. None of that happens in The Asskickers. Using a handmade aesthetic that is rarely seen in videogames these days, The Asskickers renders every object — ass or otherwise — with the lurid simplicity of a cartoon sketched onto a piece of paper or graffiti sprayed onto a wall.

And the asses themselves move with all the grace of a South Park character. The Asskickers is a visual throwback to an era when videogames animated their graphics by switching between pre-rendered images — oftentimes only a few for each character. The result is like a flipbook: characters shift abruptly from one drawn pose to another, then back again, with no transition in between.

The kicking in The Asskickers is also a welcome throwback to an earlier era of videogame combat. There are no high-zoom sniper rifles or alien assault rifles here. The fighting is drawing-to-drawing — fist to face, knee to groin, boot to the back of the head. With low-fi grunts, the characters fly into motion. A blazing arc sweeps up through the air from a character’s foot, followed shortly thereafter by the foot. Or a puff of cloud explodes into the air near a fist, and the character pops into attack and then pops back again. The whole thing happens in a heartbeat, making a speedy virtue of the game’s unsophisticated animation.

Because all the action takes place in a flat, two-dimensional plane, attacks happen in the basic range of high or low, front or back. To add additional layers of complexity to the action, AGO Games, the designers of The Asskickers, have given the characters multiple planes through which to move, sliding deeper back or further forward. The only way to reliably tell where a character is standing is to observe where their shadow is placed on the onscreen ground. This quirk will frustrate players looking for a nuanced, cutting-edge combat experience. In The Asskickers, the shenanigans are simple.

THE GOOD: The Asskickers costs $4.99, which is probably less than what you’ve spent on coffee today. The Asskickers offers the dual pleasure of senseless violence for a low cost. And since the global economy continues to suck, The Asskickers marks the first in an occasional series of reviews I’ll be writing about videogames that are either really cheap or free (if anything actually is). Because there’s no reason fun shouldn’t be affordable.

THE BAD: Ever heard of button mashing? Spam attacks? These features — continuously tapping a button and repeatedly using a single, strong attack — are fundamental to the cheesy, vintage style of The Asskickers, but they can also make the game cross the line from simple to stupid. Lovers of complexity be warned. But what else do you expect from a game called The Asskickers?

THE BOTTOM LINE: For mindless retro action, The Asskickers kicks ass.

Tags: ,

  • Pin It

Latest in Film

  • Winning Reboot
  • Winning Reboot

    Somehow, Arnold's return to the Terminator franchise makes for solid sci-fi
    • Jul 1, 2015
  • <b>Stripped Down</b>
  • Stripped Down

    Magic Mike XXL can't recapture the substance that made the original more than hunky shirtless guys
    • Jul 1, 2015
  • Dog of a Story
  • Dog of a Story

    Max wastes a promising idea on forgettable characters
    • Jun 24, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed
Indigenous

Indigenous @ Two Rivers Casino and Resort

Sat., July 4, 7-10 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

or

More by Marty Demarest

  • The Cowboy's Cowboy
  • The Cowboy's Cowboy

    A Canadian sings about the life —  not just the lifestyle — of the new West
    • May 15, 2013
  • Completing the Trilogy
  • Completing the Trilogy

    Mass Effect has finally arrived
    • May 23, 2012
  • Minecraft
  • Minecraft

    Adventure and survival too often give way to mindless crafts in this building-block simulator.
    • Feb 8, 2012
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • All Man

    Gregg Allman has experienced much turmoil, but he perseveres with his mix of blues, rock and country
    • Jun 24, 2015
  • Lightening the Mood

    Local metal quartet Mercy Brown garners fans around the globe thanks to a viral video
    • Jun 17, 2015
  • More »

Top Tags in
Music & Film

Film


Music


Review


Indie Rock


Elkfest


© 2015 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation