Pin It
Favorite

The Borowitz Report 

Reality Show Producers Facing Shortage of Real People


by Andy Borowitz


Where have all the real people gone? That's the question reality-show producers are asking themselves, as a new study released this week shows the number of real people who have not already appeared on a reality show dropping to dangerously low levels.


The study, commissioned by the University of Minnesota's Reality Institute, has caused alarm in the reality TV community, with producers increasingly fearful that that real people, the bread and butter of the genre, may be becoming an endangered species.


Dr. Colson McLeod, who supervised the study, said that with the proliferation of reality shows on nearly every cable network, it's nearly impossible to find an American who has not already had his home, car or face made over by a team of experts.


"If you take a random sample of 100 Americans, you will find that 85 percent of them have either gotten married, competed for a modeling contract or eaten bug larvae on TV," Dr. McCleod said. "And the rest have sung 'The Wind Beneath My Wings.'"


For reality show producers like Clive Leisen, who is attempting to launch a new program called Trading Medications, the search for real people to serve as contestants has never been a more daunting task.


"I have instructed my staff to conduct a nationwide search for real people," said Mr. Leisen, who also produced the hit series Pimp My Bride. "We are going to look in every state but California."


Elsewhere, park rangers arrested Tom Cruise today after the actor attempted to carve Katie Holmes' face into Mount Rushmore.

  • Pin It

Latest in News

  • Robo-Reporter
  • Robo-Reporter

    Can robots take over local sports coverage?
    • May 20, 2015
  • Dude, Where's My Bike?
  • Dude, Where's My Bike?

    A new tool to protect your bicycle; plus, finding a new police ombudsman
    • May 20, 2015
  • The Contenders
  • The Contenders

    Candidates have filed to run for office in Spokane. Here's what's at stake
    • May 20, 2015
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon
State of the Spokane River

State of the Spokane River @ REI

Thu., May 28, 7-8:30 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by n/a

  • Iron Upgrade
  • Iron Upgrade

    The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.
    • May 12, 2010
  • Seeing Gay
  • Seeing Gay

    A festival showing GLBT from all angles
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • Get Out the Vote
  • Get Out the Vote

    With all the uncertainty in the world these days, hot wings and cold beer are two things we can get behind
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • This Old House

    If it could talk, it could tell stories of three generations, along with a lot of griping from neighbors
    • Apr 29, 2015
  • On a Roll

    Just-announced reforms do little to safeguard Spokane against the danger of oil trains
    • May 6, 2015
  • More »

Top Tags in
News & Comment

Comment


Briefs


Publisher's Note


marijuana


education


© 2015 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation