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The Borowitz Report 

by Andy Borowitz & r & & r & BUSH PROMOTES IRAN TO AXIS OF EVILER & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & F & lt;/span & urious at Iran's decision to test-fire surface-to-surface missiles and push forward with its nuclear program, President George W. Bush today named Iran to a newly formed "Axis of Eviler."


The president said that he had invented the new Axis specifically for Iran because "evil does not describe just how evil these folks really are."


Mr. Bush singled out Iranian Mahmud Ahmadinejad for special condemnation, calling the provocative head of state an "evilerdoer."


The president said that at first he was not sure whether "eviler" or "evilerdoer" were actually words, "but then I checked with [Secretary of Defense] Don Rumsfeld who assured me that they were."


While the promotion of Iran from the Axis of Evil to the Axis of Eviler drew no initial response from President Ahmadinejad, it sparked an angry reaction from North Korean President Kim Jong-Il, who said today, "North Korea will not sit idly by and allow another nation to be called eviler than it."


President Kim said that he would double the number of missile tests it conducts and ramp up its uranium enrichment program in the hopes of being named to what he called the "Axis of Evilest."


In Washington, reporters asked Mr. Bush if he had unintentionally ignited a competition between Iran and North Korea to see which nation could do eviler things.


Mr. Bush responded, "Mission accomplished."


Elsewhere, after it was reported that JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect John Mark Karr was flown first-class and dined on fried prawns and champagne, more than one hundred other people came forward to confess to the crime.





& & For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & & & .

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