by Andy Borowitz & r & & r & CHENEY STARS IN PRO-GLOBAL WARMING FILM & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & I & lt;/span & n an attempt to counteract the impact of former Vice President Al Gore's cautionary film about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, Vice President Dick Cheney is starring in a new film advocating global warming, Mr. Cheney confirmed today.
The Cheney film, entitled A Really Convenient Truth, will open in theaters nationwide in time for the fall 2006 midterm elections.
"I saw the Al Gore movie, and quite frankly, the whole thing was a downer from the word go," Mr. Cheney said at a White House press briefing. "I thought it was time to tell the American people the good news about global warming.
"The truth is, as the entire world turns into a red-hot tropical zone, it will be possible to go on vacation wherever you are," Mr. Cheney added. "When was the last time you wanted to take a vacation on a glacier?"
The vice president added that soon it will be so hot everywhere in the country that it will no longer be necessary to go to Florida for vacation, adding, "which is a good thing, because no one can afford to drive to Florida anymore."
Mr. Cheney said he would show his film to the U.S. Supreme Court and let the justices decide whose film is better, his or Mr. Gore's.
At the Supreme Court, the justices found in favor of Mr. Cheney's film by a 5-4 vote.
Elsewhere, in her latest act of philanthropy towards those less fortunate than herself, Angelina Jolie offered to adopt Jennifer Aniston.
For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & .
The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.