Pin It
Favorite

The Borowitz Report 

by Andy Borowitz & r & & r & CHENEY STARS IN PRO-GLOBAL WARMING FILM & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & I & lt;/span & n an attempt to counteract the impact of former Vice President Al Gore's cautionary film about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, Vice President Dick Cheney is starring in a new film advocating global warming, Mr. Cheney confirmed today.


The Cheney film, entitled A Really Convenient Truth, will open in theaters nationwide in time for the fall 2006 midterm elections.


"I saw the Al Gore movie, and quite frankly, the whole thing was a downer from the word go," Mr. Cheney said at a White House press briefing. "I thought it was time to tell the American people the good news about global warming.


"The truth is, as the entire world turns into a red-hot tropical zone, it will be possible to go on vacation wherever you are," Mr. Cheney added. "When was the last time you wanted to take a vacation on a glacier?"


The vice president added that soon it will be so hot everywhere in the country that it will no longer be necessary to go to Florida for vacation, adding, "which is a good thing, because no one can afford to drive to Florida anymore."


Mr. Cheney said he would show his film to the U.S. Supreme Court and let the justices decide whose film is better, his or Mr. Gore's.


At the Supreme Court, the justices found in favor of Mr. Cheney's film by a 5-4 vote.


Elsewhere, in her latest act of philanthropy towards those less fortunate than herself, Angelina Jolie offered to adopt Jennifer Aniston.





For more fake news from award-winning humorist Andy Borowitz, check out the & lt;a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com" & Borowitz Report & lt;/a & .

  • Pin It

Latest in News

  • In Defense of Refugees
  • In Defense of Refugees

    In the aftermath of the presidential election, local residents seek ways to love and support their refugee friends
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • No License to Kill
  • No License to Kill

    Task force says officers should be held responsible for police shootings; plus, state auditor clears Spokane Valley firing of city manager
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • Trumped-up Education
  • Trumped-up Education

    Could the President-elect's support of school choice trickle down to Spokane?
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Today | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun
Lost Egypt: Ancient Secrets, Modern Science

Lost Egypt: Ancient Secrets, Modern Science @ Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture

Tuesdays-Sundays. Continues through Jan. 6

All of today's events | Staff Picks

More by n/a

  • Iron Upgrade
  • Iron Upgrade

    The new one is smart and funny and action-packed, and it’s bigger and better and sleeker. And Downey does it again, this time ramping up Stark’s arrogant wisecracking, telling anyone who’ll listen (mostly women) that, via the creation of his powerful Iron Man suit, he’s brought years of uninterrupted peace to the world.
    • May 12, 2010
  • Seeing Gay
  • Seeing Gay

    A festival showing GLBT from all angles
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • Get Out the Vote
  • Get Out the Vote

    With all the uncertainty in the world these days, hot wings and cold beer are two things we can get behind
    • Nov 9, 2009
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • Unfinished Business

    Isaiah Wall wants to get his life on track. But first, he's gotta buy drugs for the police
    • Nov 17, 2016
  • This Isn't Normal

    America has gone down this road before, and it's a dead end
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • More »

Top Tags in
News & Comment

Briefs


green zone


marijuana


trail mix


election 2016


Readers also liked…

  • Whitman Privilege
  • Whitman Privilege

    Why Walla Walla's Whitman College has come under fire for having so few low-income students
    • Apr 22, 2015
  • The <i>Real</i> Rachel Dolezal
  • The Real Rachel Dolezal

    The story goes far beyond just a white woman portraying herself as black
    • Jun 17, 2015

© 2016 Inlander
Website powered by Foundation