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Washington State University 

When drunk happens.

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Its structures stick out like scabs against the innocent pallor of wheat fields. The Bryan Hall clock tower stands watch, its face glowering red, as if angry with the wonton revelry below — scolding the campus with each chime. Shame, the clock cries. Every hour. On the hour.

CONVENIENCE IS DECEITFUL
Ah, the student bookstore. Look at it, nestled right there in the center of campus. Isn’t it convenient and oh-so-handy? Well, no, not really. Not if you’re trying to save money. At the student bookstore, keep in mind you are paying a markup for convenience. But have no fear, as there are other places to buy stuff. Crimson and Grey is a step in the right, cost-effective direction, but buying and selling books online via textbook exchanges or Amazon.com is absolutely the best way to save. As for supplies, heck, you could find a pen on the ground every 10 feet in this town. Dip it in bleach and get over it.

THE HUNTERS AND THE HUNTED
It is no secret the police presence in Pullman is heavy. It could be that there are a lot of problem people to deal with in Pullman — the trick is to make sure you’re not one of them. Trouble, for most students, stems directly from alcohol. Driving drunk, making a boozy spectacle of yourself or even just holding a container of alcohol could cost you hundreds of dollars and community-service hours. With the heavy police presence, chances are you’ll bump — literally — into a cop or three on your wobbly weave home.

CALL THE COPS ON YOUR FRIENDS
In an emergency, however, police are always friends, whether they want to be or not. Because of the Washington State 911 Good Samaritan Law, which went into effect in June, immunity is granted to both the reporting party and victim in any drug/alcohol-related incident. So don’t hesitate for one second to call the police. Some things can’t be “slept off.”

IT’S NO BATMOBILE, BUT IT’LL DO
There’s nowhere you can’t walk to in Pullman within an hour. But sometimes, the weather just won’t cooperate. Eventually you’ll stop trying to fight the powers that be and realize it’s time to patronize your old friend, the bus system. Since you have to pay a mandatory “transit fee” for the buses as part of your tuition anyway, you might as well use them — and not just to get to campus. They go all about the city and beyond and are easy to navigate.

LAST-CALL TRANSPORTATION
For those who’ve had a bit to drink and are disheartened by the prospect of walking home, hop aboard the colloquially dubbed “Drunk Bus,” a bus that happens to run exceptionally late (and often features impromptu sing-alongs). Females have access to Women’s Transit, a student-operated taxi-esque program designed to get women to their destinations safely. Call the number, and off you go. Note: Throwing up in Women’s Transit brings on the worst karma possible.

LIKE NINJA STARS, BUT ROUNDER
To the untrained eye, Sunnyside Park’s weird-ass baskets look intended for feeding livestock. They are, in fact, the holes (called “tomes”) of Pullman’s disc golf course. If you haven’t played, do so immediately. Get discs at Ric-O-Shay downtown (new and used), or at Tri-State in Moscow. Or just go fishing for them in Sunnyside’s pond. Serious.

SUMMON ALLIES HERE
Local gathering spots off-campus are always great. Catch live music at The Belltower downtown, go check out bowling/arcade awesomeness at Zeppoz or just pay attention to the dozens of events being put on every week for students in order to find your niche.

POWER UP HERE
If you’re looking to score cheap fashion or function, check out Lily Bee’s Consignment or Palouse Treasures. For good food and drinks under $10, head to Thai Ginger.

FORTRESSES OF SOLITUDE
Other than the various study nooks dispersed all about, relish in the peace of the Quiet Lounge in the CUB for an on-campus getaway. Off campus, the cozy couches and fireplace of The Daily Grind are a welcome respite for the weary.

SECRET PARKING LOCATION
A large chunk of WSU’s campus is surrounded by residential areas, which are always opportune places to hunt down that furtive parking space.

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