Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Today's viral stupidity: Watch ex-Gonzaga star Kelly Olynyk eating a giant burrito in four bites

Posted By on Tue, Nov 10, 2015 at 10:46 AM

The early weeks of the NBA season are slow for teams and fans alike. And we all know nothing matters in the NBA until the playoffs arrive in May and June. 

Yet, the teams insist on playing in November, and the players have to find ways to amuse themselves on road trips. Apparently one way the Boston Celtics do that is by daring ex-Gonzaga star Kelly Olynyk to take down a massive burrito in four bites — and filming the action for the Internet's amusement.

Today I've seen this Olynyk video pop up on Deadspin, Sports Illustrated, SBNation, USA Today and myriad other websites. Each had their own #hottake on Olynyk's gastronomic abilities (I particularly liked the SB Nation effort to replicate it), but nothing topped the totally Not Safe For Work commentary of the big man's Celtics teammate Amir Johnson, who filmed the episode and posted it to the world. 

Here's the NSFW video, so plug in your headphones or turn down the volume if you're near anyone who might be offended by a couple f-bombs — the visual itself is impressive on its own: 

A couple of takeaways: 
1. It's good to see Olynyk drinking water along with that burrito. Gotta stay hydrated when you play in the NBA. 
2. "Eat it like you eat the booty" should be part of the advertising campaign for whatever burrito joint supplied that thing.
3. Takeout burritos, really? These dudes make more money than most of us can even imagine, and they still eat like college students? Maybe the Celtics need to hire a team nutritionist. 

Olynyk, by the way, is averaging 7.5 points and 4.5 boards so far this season. 

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About The Author

Dan Nailen

Dan Nailen is the managing editor of the Inlander, where he oversees coverage of arts and culture. He's previously written and edited for The Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City Weekly, Missoula Independent, Salt Lake Magazine, The Oregonian and KUER-FM. He grew up seeing the country in an Air Force family and studied...