Saturday, September 14, 2013

An Open Letter

Posted on Sat, Sep 14, 2013 at 8:24 AM



to the Gentleman that Broke into my Boyfriend's Car and Stole my Laptop:
Way to keep it classy. If you were here you'd hear my hands clapping in 3/4
time, which is far more than you deserve. I mean, really dude? Hanging
around a park until we walk away for a few minutes, only to smash the
window and jack my laptop? I understand YOLO, and times is hard, sir, but
that is L-O-W, LOW. But your violation has cost me more than $600 worth of
equipment, no, I've lost something far more valuable: my writing.
Bookmarked websites? Gone. Inspiration references? Also gone. Dozens of
poems. Notes and ideas I'll never recover. Strings of words that flow in
those once-in-a-lifetime meditations, never to be reenacted. Only the rough
draft of my first novel. Thank God for Google Drive, but unfortunately not
everything was able to make it through. Oh well. The muse will strike
again. Anything could be my inspiration. Maybe even you. Think about it. I
could forever immortalize your heinous act in a short story, or even a
character. I won't even use your name. If and when the police find you, I
will only describe your face, no doubt twisted by hate, so that there will
be a clear picture of my villain. It might not be a laptop you steal, but
an heirloom. A car. A life. A little extreme, perhaps, but you never know
what significance your quarry has for your victims. Readers will forever
hate you through your crimes expressed through my pen and paper, and that
is how your legacy will be carried out. After all, words are forever. Or
maybe I won't write about you at all, and you will just be forgotten.
Another nameless soul swallowed by unforgiving time. Lesson learned? You do
not mess with a woman's work. Also, now that I am employed with a job that
surely pays better than petty theft, I can now afford a newer, better
laptop to write with. Thank you, and have a good day!
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