I SAW YOU
Heaven in a Taxi: Given my vagabond lifestyle, getting a chance to see you while far away fulfilled a dream of mine. Even though the moment was brief, the memories created while sharing the wine will always hold a special place in my heart. I can still see your orange shoes as we shared our taxi, it seems like a dream. Your beautiful smile fills my heart.
Hover Board Hottie: I saw you on your hover board in Kendall Yards on June 18th... tall and handsome with your hair blowing in the wind. I passed by you on the sidewalk across from My Fresh Basket and our eyes locked for one hot moment. Time stood still and I cannot forget you. I found myself hoping there is not a Mrs. Hover Board hottie. You look like you would be a lot of fun. I know I felt a spark. Maybe you did too? I am in the area quite a bit and really hope we run into each other.
Pizza Date - Yes! If you're the blond with the cute smile and great legs, then yeah, I saw you, too! I regret not introducing myself as I passed you on the way out. I'm not sure I'm the guy in question, so I'll be at Mod Pizza on Newport Highway near that WinCo t 6 pm, Friday evening. If we recognize each other, we'll start off easy and let them build our pizzas for us.
Margaritas and Applenapping: I saw you at the Target up North this Saturday — even if you seemed tired and amazed by your shopping buddy just mowing down on an apple in the produce section, you managed to keep a smile on your face and I was impressed by your effortless cool. We both spotted the PopTart Bites and commented about needing a margarita. Margaritas on me, instead, sometime?
I'm a hopeless Ramen-tic: Saw you at King of Ramen during thier anniversary special Thursday night. They are awesome, right? I didn't want to interrupt your noodle experience and you seemed busy with that local celebrity. Just wanted to say that you caught my eye.
Thanks for the consideration! Looking for a friend just like me: Physically in their 20s, emotionally about 8 years old, humor of a 5 year old, laughs like a 2 year old, relates to the nonphysical world, inspired by every color shape sound, strong will and desire to be alive and play all day, must enjoy other cultures of humanity, long conversations about how to empower others, and is a fan of drinking tea on floorcusions in my garden porch in the trees near the river. Contact me by astral travel.
CHEERS
Monster Fans: May 30th at the downtown AMC. One of the first showings of GODZILLA. I'm "a kid on Christmas" excited for the movie, as I drag a group of friends to the showing. Movie plays, and I'm in awe, it's good, it's great. The movie I've craved since 1998 is finally here. End credits play and I've got a high on life vibe. Only to be immediately disheartened by my friends "meh" response to it. A wave of isolation hits me. Then to my rescue, a beautiful fan in a King Kong suit jumps up from the crowd ahead of me. And one in a Godzilla suit (but had minor issues getting it to work) stands as well. And I see the joy in others at the showing. I see the love for the King of the Monsters. Like Big G himself feeding on radiation, I'm repowered and ready for action. On the way out following (King Kong) people compliment each other's shirts. And even if my friends only thought it was OK, I'm glad I was there with you guys. Those of us who hail to the King of the Monsters!
Thank you for the Dutch Bros: I wanted to thank you for buying my iced coffee at the Freya Dutch brothers on the morning of Tuesday June 18. That was very nice of you. I will pay it forward and smile and share.
Honking a$$holes: To both of the cars that were blaring their horns at me... Are you really that ignorant and stupid? You might want to read the rules to the Lime bike/scooter program. Riders are allowed to ride in the street and will be ticketed if caught riding on the sidewalk. You could have seriously caused me to crash, then I would have sued you for ever penny your ass ever made. I really wish you would have pulled over and we could have settled your issue with me riding legally in the street. Woman to woman. Get at me.
Political Proselytes: To the Americans who forgot one significant reason why our country moved from a theocracy to a free democracy (Salem Witch Trials of 1692): STOP inserting your religious beliefs into political policy. Instead, seek the comfortable support of your church to stroke your ego, fueled by recited and selective biblical verses to make you sound compassionate and knowledgeable. You are neither. Go to church, and go to the polls, but don't confuse them. Understand the separation of church and state.
JEERS
Just Leave, Brittany: I read your Letter to the Editor. I'm glad most folks in Spokane are not as judgmental as you. You claim to be making some kind of point about poor driving. But you spend your entire rant generalizing Spokane's citizens and misusing your Thesaurus. Some people in Spokane occasionally drive too slow, and sometimes too fast!?!? Truly, this must be the only place on Earth where such things occur!! You've been to both Germany and Arizona, so clearly you are on expert on global driving experiences. And advising unsafe driving around pedestrians is a classy touch on your part. Bravo! Do us a favor. Take your own advice and, the next time your panties are in a twist about "Spokane drivers," shop for a new place to live. Every community could use one less small-minded asshole.
Craigslist: Selling things on Craigslist sure brings out the stupid people. Read the ad, seriously please read it. The ad clearly states they weigh 165 pounds. Bring help. Yet, stupid shows up and says they can't lift. The ad clearly says cash only. Yet stupid shows up and says I only have PayPal. Twelve people called with lots of questions. I gave them my name and address. Made an appointment, yet they never showed. Are they waiting for me to leave so they can steal them? Stupid people looked around my yard and garage. Kept asking if they can have this and that for free. WTF!!!
Unnecessary Cops at Hoopfest:The Hoopfest security budget could safely be cut in half by cutting the number of cops in half. As it is, they stand around in groups of 3 of 4 evidently to roll out the yellow "Do Not Cross" tape AFTER an incident has occurred. Since these peace officers are making time and half, and probably double time on Sunday, I would expect them to at least look busy by continuously walking about; singly to make their police presence known. Actually, anyone in uniform could accomplish about the same thing armed with just a radio. Idea: All the court marshals are armed with a radio so we really don't need any cops. And, for some reason, we like our officer's armed to the teeth with semi-automatic weapons inside a crowd of 100,000 people. I fear "death by cop" more than I do the few crazy Hoop-daddies out there.♦
