I Saw You

Week of August 12


Fox Looking for Her Big Boss: You tried to hide in a box during my patrol, but I could hear your dummy thicc cheeks clapping from a mile away. I think I even caught a glimpse of a sexy eye patch and the grizzled beard of a man who's lived a long life for himself and cannot be copied. I'm in love! The girly magazine was a nice trick to try to distract me, but I really wanted to meet YOU, not just any other Snake in a suit. Hit me up on the codec and I promise — I'm a Phantom Pain you'll never forget!

Cute Musician at Summit Church: You played piano today (8/8) but you usually sing. You are so talented! I really like your style. Today it was a red buttondown with black joggers and black vans. I saw you in the lobby before church; I was getting cold brew, and you smiled at me. My heart stopped. I wanted to talk to you after service, but I didn't see you in the lobby. Let me know if you want to grab coffee... soon.

Short Adorable Punk: I saw you several times downtown at riverfront. You had on black jeans, black platformlike shoes, tanktop and black hair. You with your friend who was also quite into punk anesthetics. I had on blanat far left, anarchist/anti-capitalist slogans and images on my shirt, political theory and philosophy badges on my pack and hat, enby colored bracelets, and black pants with black pf flyers. I generally do not experience such nervousness. We made eye contact several times, and I debated saying hi, however concluded it was too late by the time your friend showed up. I did not want to be annoying. So if you want to meet an anarchopunk, a response would be a pleasant break from my vacuous life. Or just go to Facebook and search for local anarchists; you'll find me.<333


Rodney Carrington Northern Quest: You seen me sitting at a blackjack table at Northern Quest. You were there to Rodney Carrington and had an extra ticket. You and your friend asked me if I wanted to join you, but I said no because I was in the middle of winning. I regret saying no because I thought you were very pretty. I even tried to look for you after the show but couldn't find you. If you're reading this please contact me @ [email protected]. I know this is a long shot but worth a try. Hope to hear from you.


People Can Be Nice: My wife and I were bartending for an LG event at Thrifty Supply last week, and a guy smashed out my windshield. Needless to say, I was pissed off. A bunch of the people there for the event tipped well because they felt bad for me, which was super nice! One of you went above and beyond and tipped us $100 to put toward a new windshield. My wife & I never caught your name, but we just wanted to say thank you! You were the bearded guy wearing a True North Heating & Cooling shirt and had your wife and 11-month-old child with you. We just wanted to say thank you! It helped out a bunch, and we appreciate it. If anybody knows this guy, buy him a beer, or 10. Cheers.

El Camino: To the baby blue El Camino...I probably spelt it wrong...but I want you to know...that when I see your car...I feel feelings I HAVEN'T...ever felt. FOR A FEW DECADES. BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU...BEAUTY

Jeer: Cathy McMorris Rogers and Her Fake Town Hall (Aug 5-11): Cheers to the person who jeered CMR after they attended her town hall. You are spot on about that traitor. The Proud Boys were probably there to make sure she didn't say anything bad about der fuhrer Trump. I imagine she was just reading a script and not doing any real representing of her constituents. She's just a spineless Trump sycophant now.

Love of My life: Cheers to my man for being so strong and wonderful. You're so handsome with your chocolate skin and honeysuckle eyes. I miss you so much and can't wait for you to come home. Life isn't the same without you, Papa Bear!

Firefighters Are Heroes: A big thank-you to all the firefighters from the West Plains, as well as the multiple surrounding communities and states for responding to the Andrus fire and saving our homes. I cannot put into words how thankful I am for all the hard work you are putting in this summer. You are truly heroes.


All Hot Air All the Time: Now our local news and weather guys and gals talk about smoky air just like they "reported" on raging wildfires and disastrous drought and record high temperatures — without ever connecting the dots to climate change. What will it take to make them say the words? When will they screw up the courage to tell us not just what's happening where, but why? Until then their breathless, at times even cheerful chatter about this week's weather is nothing more than a bunch of empty sound bites signifying nothing.

Why Does Amelia Clark Still Have a Job? Yet again Amelia Clark's illegal and even childish behavior has been put on display. An email from Michelle Fossum to board members states the Dr. Lutz was fired without a vote. As the health district's lawyer, did she not know the law? Are we all supposed to believe that Amelia knows how to manipulate the narrative to benefit her, but didn't know the appropriate actions to follow? This email went to ALL the board members. Why aren't the elected officials who stated he wasn't fired being held accountable for their blatant lies? A letter from a 30-year employee upon retirement detailed Amelia's unprofessional and childish actions, and was given to board members. They scrambled into executive session and haven't addressed it publicly. Seems like an attempt to hide the truth. Not a single board member has reached out to employees. How many of you reading this would still have a job with a state investigation against you for illegal actions? The whole board of health needs to be replaced. A new lawyer hired, and Amelia along with a few other key officials all need to be shown the door. Demand MORE from those we have elected and cut out the cancerous individuals destroying the health district!

Podcast Bummer: I was listening to the newest episode of my favorite locally recorded podcast and noticed that one of the young men has been progressively becoming more negative and vulgar and has side conversations that make it hard to focus. There was a lovely young woman as a guest, and I couldn't believe the way he spoke in front of her. Admittedly this podcast has had its share of raunchy moments, but this is incredibly noticeable that it's becoming progressive. This kind of takes away from the appeal. I hope these gentlemen address this and take this as constructive criticism.

Creepy Guy Claiming to Be a Stand-up Comic: Guy downtown who claims to be a volunteer firefighter and stand-up comedian. Frankly you are one of the most annoying people I've ever met. The first time we met, you grabbed my shoulder from behind to bother with me your incredibly sexist joke you plagiarized. The second time, you snuck up from behind again! Even though I told you I was on the phone and clearly had a facial expression and tone of voice that read go away! You didn't until I finally had to be rude and more forceful than I like being. I am aspie and I have been mugged on the street. I have PTSD and I don't want to talk to creepy men who follow me around and refuse to leave me alone until I listen to their jokes. You are not funny, you have no respect for peoples private space. I hope I never am so unlucky to ever see you again. ♦

Beauty and the Beast Jr. @ Myrtle Woldson Performing Arts Center

Fridays, Saturdays, 7:30 p.m., Sun., June 4, 2 p.m. and Sun., June 11, 2 p.m. Continues through June 10
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