I Saw You

Week of March 31

I SAW YOU

Shiny... On the ground in the parking lot of that small business...your beautiful bracelet. We found it!...We reported it to the staff. Go in and identify it. We'll make sure you get it back! We'll return it there. You were probably loading supplies when the clasp broke. It's in good hands.

YOU SAW ME

Mind Your Business: I was on my routine morning walk with my two sweet-but-rowdy mutts. As we turned the corner, they saw you standing outside the coffee shop in a bright pink coat. They both got excited and instantly went nuts with the barking/pulling/tripping me up with their leashes. Not your fault per se, because again: rowdy. One doggo wouldn't respond to my verbal commands to heel or quiet down, so I gave her a LIGHT smack on the nose with the soft handle of her leash. If I hadn't, I literally would've gotten pulled down b/c they're surprisingly muscular. But did witnessing my obvious 2v1 struggle deter you? Nope! You waited for us to get closer, then delivered a scolding that rivaled any I got in 12+ years of Catholic school. I'd like to take this opportunity to deliver the biting response I thought of later while picking up poop at the dog park: "Listen Lady, this ain't the comments section of your Granny's Only FB Group. You can't just cuss out random strangers on the street over a nine-second observation! I can't have children of my own, so these dogs are the closest I'll ever get. I don't have health insurance, BUT GUESS WHO DOES?! That's right! These two dummies! I'd lay down & die before I let any ACTUAL harm come to them."

CHEERS

Re: Spokane Drivers: Cheers to the Jeers "Spokane Drivers" posted last week. I couldn't have said it better. Spokane has an incredible amount of stupid (and rude) drivers. Your comment about their tiny little middle fingers with the tattoos on them was spot on also. Funny how they put those tiny little things up when they've done the wrong thing. I do have one suggestion about where they can put their minuscule middle fingers, perhaps with some hot sauce on it before it's inserted. Duh! Duh! Duh! Dumb!

Cheers to Will @ Shadle Chevron! I just wanted to give a shout-out to Will at Shadle Chevron! I had a very flat tire, during rush hour, and had to park my car at the gas station. I had nothing on me to pull the tire off and put my spare on. Will let me borrow his socket set, and I was able to change my tire out in no time flat, pun intended :) Will, THANK YOU for being a great part of the Shadle community! We need more people like you!

Heads Up: Howday Hairdo Honey! Please return her red cap. White and teal logo. Regional locale. It wasn't his to leave behind.

You Are Trouble: CODY L. You. Look at you lookin' at me, seeing me sittin' there waitin' for someone like you to stroll in. There you are. Thanks for the help with the phone, good sir. For the drive. For the extended days. You are pretty damn sexy with all your intelligence, street smarts, self-control, great sense of humor ... fully composed ... stuff you do. You need to stop it. Hope you achieved the hairdo you were goin' for friend. I do believe that it was time well spent, and thank you for letting me Shanghai you for your bday. Thank Lu for letting me ride shotgun. Thank you for intelligent conversation, and thank you for a much-needed distraction. You are TROUBLE. And P.S. we were totally moving. S.M.W.

"Best Weathercaster" Voters Got It Wrong: It is understandable why the beloved Tom Sherry was voted Best TV Weathercaster, but surely Blake Jensen at KHQ would be second. Do any of these voters know the difference between an in-depth, professional weather presentation and a diluted one given by a pretty faced person who just leans back & points to a weather map? It doesn't seem like it, so keep "it" going, Blake, for those of us who need to know what to expect when we leave the house.

To Strong People Nobody Knows About Today: I found out that no matter how you may think you can relate and know what someone else's past entails, you probably have no idea! Be very aware of what you say because when someone is quiet and you call them weak it can be the farthest statement from the truth. Most of us are fortunate enough not to even be able to fathom some of the horrors that even Stephen King himself couldn't come up with. For those whose childhoods were that unspeakable, I just want to say "I love you!!! You're lives matter the most!!!! Thank you for being the bravest, most humbled people on earth. STAY STRONG!"

Forgiveness Isn't So Hard: Remind yourself of something you did (or failed to do) that hurt someone deeply, something you still regret. Imagine how nervous and fearful you'd be to reach out to this person and apologize, sincerely. How would you want to be received? Is that how you would respond to someone who had hurt and apologized to you? I'm no theologian, but I doubt hell is overrun with the truly penitent or those who charitably forgive. Be brave: Try to make amends to someone you wronged. A heartfelt apology will almost surely be welcomed. Especially if accompanied by beer, weed, and a large pizza.

JEERS

Anyone Home? It's come to my attention that face-to-face customer service is still closed at Avista. One can pay their bill at a dropoff location at Avista, but are not allowed to talk to anyone at Avista in person. This is because they've chosen to "stay safe due to the coronavirus." What kind of a message does this send to everyone else in Spokane? Every school is open and has been for a long time! Every grocery story never closed! Restaurants opened for traditional dining a long time ago. But, Avista remains closed. We need more competing energy companies that actually do care about true customer service.

Hard To See Springtime for the Poop! It's a rough time out there. Just barely coming out of a winter that was particularly hard with COVID so getting out of the house is truly something special — or should be. Living right next to Kendall Yards and the Centennial Trail is GREAT! It's mostly a walking paradise — other than being mowed down by bicyclists and NOW those one-wheeled MOTORIZED vehicles that, GEE, aren't they illegal on park walking trails? But on to the story. The walking is wonderful as I have a 1-year-old puppy that needs to be walked every day. Makes the old guy get off his backside! Which is a good thing. The dog community for the most part are friendly, and Snuggie and I are meeting lots of people out walking their dogs too. The city has actually done a good thing or at least the Kendall Yard people by putting many poop bag dispensers and drop spots along the way! GOOD JOB! 99% of the time I have at least one of my own with me for when my dog hears the call of the wild. HOWEVER! There is FAR too much poop along the trails NOT picked up! Some of these piles are significant! As more people are out the number of piles are getting out of hand. There are a lot of people that walk these paths and oftentimes step off them — now to their own peril. I actually have not seen anyone letting their dog do this, or I would say something! This is a health issue. Lots of children walk these trails. You start handing out fines for this, and it ends. Really Spokane? You really don't care about your city any more than this? Shame on you! Bad Owner!

Wake Up, Voters: Boot the right wing out of power in Eastern Washington and Idaho. If you are a person of color, female, or believes that gender is more that straight heterosexual, the Republicans want to push you back out of sight. Has anyone heard Cathy McMorris-Rodgers condemn the Jan. 6 rioters, the attacks on LGBTQ persons, the "stolen" election claims, the banning of books, or the attack on women? She is concerned with just one thing: keeping her job. So she supports the power grab by white, heterosexual men. The insidious takeover of local elections, including election officials, will kill democracy and replace it with what they believe is a God-inspired theocracy. The elections are almost here. Wake up and throw the right wing out of office.

Please Slow Down! I'm truly ashamed to see people driving in our lovely town tailgating other vehicles, racing nightly down Argonne and all around bad behavior on our roads. Don't worry, we will all get to our respective destinations in a timely matter if we all just drive safely, obey traffic laws and respect each other on the road. Let's keep everyone safe and not drive like our butts are on fire. ♦

Mark as Favorite

Kelsey Cook @ Spokane Comedy Club

Sat., Feb. 15, 7 & 9:45 p.m.
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