FALL FEST-(9/3) You: Brunette, ski patroller by weekend at Schweitzer, nurse by week in Spokane. You were working on Saturday, pouring beer with a great smile and glow about you. Me: light brown hair, wearing a sky-blue T-shirt. We talked briefly a couple times. Would be great to have a beer (or drink of choice) together.

GREY HONDA ACCORD: You drive a grey '07 Honda Accord; I've seen you wearing a German T-shirt sometimes too. Just wanted to say that I think you're really cool, and I wouldn't mind getting coffee sometime.

BEACON TOWERS VIEWS: A windy but otherwise perfect Friday morning at the top of the trails on Beacon Hill... I was breathing hard, trying to ignore the pain in my legs after a long climb on my mountain bike. You were finishing a hike, beaming about the cooler temperatures and amazing views. You mentioned your healing ankle sprain and your "poser" running vest, I was nearly frozen by your magnetic smile, wishing I could see the eyes behind your sunglasses. You made my leg pain disappear without trying, hope you see this thank you for making my morning!

INCUBUS MAN WITH HIS MOM: My friend (a mom of five) and I sat next to you, your mom & sisters(?). You seemed really kind and caught my attention, but I assumed one of the women you were with was a significant other. It wasn't until we were walking away that my friend told me you were all family members. Me: long dark hair, cuffed capris, black T-shirt. Coffee? If you happen to see this, reply to the "You Saw Me" section here :)

TRADER JOE'S HAND CART WORKOUT: I saw you at Trader Joes in a lavender top, black yoga pants, and a dark hair ponytail with a beaming smile and an amazing laugh. You looked like you were lifting weights with a hand cart. I mentioned to you that you probably should have gotten a wheeled cart, and you laughed and agreed. I should have hit on you then, I'm hitting on you now.


TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO HOME: In my many nights of walking with my road dog, Loki, I have never been afraid of you. I've seen a couple of Bro dance-offs that end in bro hugs. I feel that if they were allowed to sleep, there would be less sleep-deprived psychosis. And put out more garbage cans, but oh maybe that's not cost-effective. I thank all of you.

OPEN A NEW CHINESE RESTAURANT: The Valley has had a couple of great Chinese restaurants close in the past few years. Please... someone needs to step up and open another family dining in the area. Sorry, not another chain. A family sit-down experience please.

SUNRISE SPECTACULAR: Thank you to Doug Nadvornick at KPBX for letting all of us know about the stunningly beautiful sunrise on Sept. 6, 2023. I jumped out of bed and got some glorious pictures of this passing beauty that we should all experience. After that I went back to sleep. Thank you, Doug. Thank you, Spokane Public Radio.

CHEERS TO SYMPHONY AND ITS SUPPORTERS: Thank you to the Spokane Symphony and its wonderful supporters for bringing Yo Yo Ma to Spokane. So many people got to enjoy this fantastic man's talents — from the students who attended the rehearsal to the fans and families who attended the evenings blockbuster performance.

THANK YOU: To the Inlander. You're the SHIT. You have let me express my all. I believe in Spokane as you do. All's well for the Children Of the Sun.

INLANDER ROCKS! Thank you editor, staff, contributors and distributors for this continuing insightful, informative, educational, topical and entertaining publication. Your critics could not possibly provide an articulate paragraph fit to print with as much worthy content. It's amazing and admirable that you gather and create this fine local treasure once a week — and for FREE! Thank you for keeping print journalism and intelligent content alive! You are all a gift to our local region.

CITIZEN SALUTE: Cheers and blessings to the kindly older gentleman who stopped on the Aug. 29 to check on me, stranded along the northbound lane of Addison. I saw you the first time, as you were one of the few who slowed down and moved over as you passed me. Despite being in a large truck with my hazard lights on in the no parking bike lane, most drivers were zooming over the speed limit, passing within inches of my side window, including trash and city utility trucks. You took your wife home and came back, genuinely concerned if I had my cellphone and was expecting help. To him and the few who did slow down and move over, I thank you! To the others, you have a long way to go, maybe a few more lifetimes, before you learn how to be Human Beings.

RE: DOGS OFF LEASH: This is actually a cheers to the person who posted the "Dogs Off Leash" comment a few weeks ago. I really appreciated reading it! Yes, there is a county leash law, and yes, there are plenty of dog owners who think that they and their dogs are special and don't need to follow the law. I'm so sick of off-leash dogs heading for me while their owners say things like "Oh, don't worry — he's friendly!" I've been attacked by off-leash dogs, bitten once, so I don't care about your totally lame reasons for having your dog off leash. I don't want your dog approaching me, sniffing at me, jumping on me, or trying to interact with me in any way, "friendly" or not. You aren't special, your dog isn't special — follow the law and keep your dog leashed!

MOON TIME - THE ITALIAN HOTEL: Thank you to the incredible young man dining alone, reading a book, who reminded me so very much of my youngest brother and paid for our little family's dinner tonight, Monday July 31, at Moon Time in downtown CDA. That was so kind and unexpected — generous gestures like that are passed on by all of those involved, and you better believe that we can't wait to pay it forward with our children! I'm lucky to always cross paths with so many wonderful people in life, and you, kind sir, I hope you see this message and know how much you touched my sad heart in this time of difficult growth and change I'm going through, so thank you!

THANK YOU FOR BEING NICE: I was paddleboarding at the Plante's Ferry area, and I got out after a long paddle, fully expecting to do everything by myself. I'm a single woman who's 43, and I'm never looking for attention or help (just excersize and pleasure). I only ever hope to have a casual interaction with strangers (male or female) talking about whatever water body I am in. Today, a man (with his family) offered to help carry my board up a big hill. I didn't know what to do. Tears came to my eyes just over this simple act of kindness. So many "men" nowadays have the mtfu stickers, and then they slam doors in my face. I feel the very opposite of chivalry with those "people." I am just a woman going about my business, fully expecting to be treated like absolute shit from any "Christian, family man" because those "men" are just horrible people. I have no idea why this person helped me, but he was a family man with kids and a wife, and he must have felt I was a valid lady, too. Also, shout-out to his wife who saw the situation as it was. I shouldn't be floored by the kindness, but I am. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am a woman, too, and it was amazing to have someone help just because of that and manners. I'm shook.

CHEERS TO SPOKANE STREET DEPARTMENT: Spokane's Street Maintenance team really impressed me with their responsiveness recently. I called in about missing lane paint at a complicated intersection at Fourth and Walnut, and they responded within just a few days to repaint the lane markers. Thanks for such quick action, I'm sure these lane markers will prevent several fender benders.


SPOKANE ROAD CONSTRUCTION: So, Upriver Drive underneath the Greene Street Bridge was closed for a while during the summer so they could do some work related to the north-south freeway. After a few weeks, that was opened up but the patch work on the road was so poor that cars travelling east have to drive over uneven roads. It's just a really poor job of patching the road after digging it up. Now, they have the access road to Upriver Drive closed off due to more construction, so cars are diverted north to another access road, which backs cars up significantly and even more so when there is a stalled car taking up a lane or an accident caused by too much congestion. Spokane never seems to think about these kinds of things in advance. The planning seems to be really bad and the road repair even worse. I sure hope that when the corridor is completed (someday) that it will be utilized and all this work now isn't just a waste of money. In the meantime, can someone patch the road under the Greene Street Bridge so that it's at least as good as it was prior to the work in July?

APOLOGY: To the family I offended at the Fair Friday on Sept. 10 at around 3 pm. I apologize. ♦

Kelsey Cook @ Spokane Comedy Club

Thu., Oct. 5, 7:30 p.m., Fri., Oct. 6, 7:30 & 10:15 p.m. and Sat., Oct. 7, 7 & 9:45 p.m.
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