I SAW YOU

DRAWING AT BERSERK: You: tall, slender, with long two-tone hair and outrageous fashion. You were drawing at a booth with your friends, and such a beautiful expression on your face as you focused on your art. Me: crop top, JNCO jeans and a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on my neck, with an Abraham Lincoln beard and a fine fedora. I'm a gentleman, let me be yours?

PROVE IT: If you don't know by now, then I guess you never will. I wonder why?

RE: PROVE IT: What are your initials? Because I do not think that you are the person that I seek.

CLOSE ENCOUNTER, BUT TOO SHY! Opening Night Les Mis row N. You seat 29, me seat 30. Your first words to me were "I get to sit next to you." Me, too shy to tell you how much that meant to me. Let's chat sometime soon. I'll make some excuse for not even asking your name. You can just be yourself. I thought you were wonderful.


CHEERS

DON'T LET THE DOOR... Dear Nadine. I'm glad to see you got at least 1/10th of your comeuppance. If you would've won, you might have been able to keep riding the GOP gravy train. I'm guessing that Cathy and her campaign managers are taking a little more time getting back to you these days. Pathetic. Enjoy slipping into obscurity the way fate intended; it would've happened a long time ago if not for your ability to parlay your modest local fame and lack of morals into political lackey-hood.

ONE STAR: OK, we've reached the point where I have no choice but to see every movie Chase Hutchinson and Josh Bell hate. I have never lived anywhere with such a terribly boorish pair of reviewers (and I have lived everywhere). It's basically Frasier and Niles getting to do reviews. I know that sounds awful and it is, but, hear me out: Just flip every review, and you'll be just fine. Or not. Maybe the Inlander hires some reviewers that aren't primed to hate joy?

RE: MAKING A FREE LEFT: I must've been taught wrong in Drivers Ed, or been told wrong by family because I learned something new today. I had to double-check my sanity and found I was indeed wrong. Thank you, kind Inlander for pointing out the error of my ways. I have been learned.

I HOPE YOU SEE THIS BOOBEAR: I love you with all me heart, boobear. Thank you for loving me through so much, especially understanding my self-sabotaging ways. You've always been my cheerleader, and I love you even more for that. I love you with all my heart Alicebamboosly! You and Ry are what keep me motivated in life.

PING PONG CHAMP: Such wasted potential!... Trump could be the best ping pong player of all time, Olympic level even with his volleys in the court system daily reported on and witnessed of gag order, no gag, appeal, shot down appeal, fits of rage. But no, he had to go and waste his "skills" on litigation for his mountainous criminal charges. Poor Guy! Someone should tell his fans who keep donating their dollars to his billionaire-ness that he's not making them famous, just fleeced. Put your paddle down, Donald. We humans are living in the era of "choose your own reality, call it truth," but hey, at least in that arena Trump is the absolute king of the hill! Eat a cheeseburger, yell, repeat!

WOMAN WHO LIKES MY PARENTS' HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS: Cheers to the woman who drives down Bowdish to work every morning. She took the time out of her busy day to knock on my parents' door and compliment their Halloween decorations. I just wanted to apologize if my dad seemed grumpy. He was expecting me, his daughter, to be coming by that day, and he was confused as to who was at the door. My parents have not stopped talking about how much it meant to them that you stopped by. Thank you again for your kindness to my parents.

TEACHERS: A special shout-out cheers to the teachers at TSHS. The work you do with your students is life changing. You are making a difference each and every time you show up. Things don't go the right way every time for most people working with adolescents, remember to breathe, you got this! Teachers everywhere are incredible! We need you, the students need you. Thank you for being you!

THERE'S GOOD PEOPLE OUT THERE: So I was diagnosed with cancer in July. I lost my hair, and it cost me my self-esteem. I couldn't get a free wig because they don't do that for men. Well, I had a GoFundMe, and I was truly shocked by the generosity of the people around me. I saw a jeer about someone getting upset about another person buying them dinner or something. You know, sometimes this world is a dark, evil place. It's full of pain and misery, which is why it's so important to cherish the good we see in it. Be grateful for the small acts of kindness, and the large ones. I don't know if I'm going to be here in the next five years, but you can bet I'm going to do what I can to pay forward the love I was shown. I am so grateful to my community, friends and family. Remember you matter. You are loved and you are not alone.


JEERS

PUFFY PIECE ON POLICE CHIEF: Jeers to the journalist on a local TV "news" program who presented viewers with her puff interview with the resigning Spokane police chief without daring to give us the necessary context to the story: That is, how the recently defeated mayor had protected the chief from criticism by progressive citizens. (Not "left-leaning," that's a loaded term and you must know that.) The elephant in the room was that Spokane voters repudiated the outgoing Chief by electing not just a progressive mayor but a City Council president who was viciously attacked by right-wingers. (Sorry Ozzie, but just stay in Wyoming where you can enjoy the snow and silence.) Oh, and another point not pointed out by this shallow, biased story is that voters rejected building more jail cells in Spokane as the wrong way to reduce crime. This story is just one more example of the superficial and sycophantic "coverage" viewers have come to expect from local television reporters.

TSUNAMI: The recent elections' liberal tsunami was a shocking disaster. Does no one here see what's happening in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland and Seattle? Well soon you will. Law enforcement will be curtailed. Drug-soaked zombies and criminals will roam unchecked along filthy streets. Under liberal leadership, the above named cities have been reduced to outdoor sewers and open air drug markets. And you just voted in the same problems. The excrement tsunami is coming. I suggest you all buy waders or tall rubber boots. Please keep it within your city limits. Take a long look; your police chief just quit rather than put up with what's coming. And I thank God I live outside the city and will now shop, eat and seek my entertainment in Coeur d'Alene. Pray for a recall, it's your only hope.

DISRUPTIVE TV COMMERCIALS: Last Friday night I wanted to watch Dateline on NBC. As advertised, more info regarding evidence collected in the insidious Murdock murders. Because of the interruption by commercials I found it difficult to keep track of the storyline. I then decided to write down the actual times that the commercials were on. Example: the show ran from 9:29 pm to 9:38 pm, the next commercial was 9:38 pm to 9:48 pm, and so on. To me "this" was not a Dateline episode, it was a means of holding me captive for their sponsors. I thought of taping Dateline to watch at another time and skim through the colmmercials, but wouldn't that defeat the purpose? I want to sit comfortably with a drink on Friday night watching Dateline without frustration. Greed is a word that permeates through our country today and the three major networks are profound examples. How dare they abuse their viewers. There MUST be another way for the networks to make more money for their stockholders. We, the viewers expect to be entertained and informed, not made frustrated and angry. I have written to NBC to let them know how many of their viewers feel about these infuriating issues. If enough subscribers, like thousands or better millions write complaints to "them" I'm sure changes would me made. Realistically and humoursly I know this will never happen but at least I got out my frustration.

RE: GLASS IS CLASSY: Heaven forbid you feel a lack of class while you slurp your forest devastating beverage. Your breath probably reeks and your mug doesn't remind anybody of porcelain. If you don't feel classy, maybe consider your decisions in life and stop blaming other people.

CONCERT PARENTS: Jeers to the parents who brought their five+ kids to a rock concert at the knitting factory at 10pm at night this weekend. Let's pretend the 2 and 4 year old really wanted to be there because they loved the bass guitar. None of the kids had ear buds/ear protection at all. And you were sitting your kid up against the speakers in the front. The 15 people concerned giving you looks and offering their earbuds to you were not doing it because they were Karens and you were interrupting their concert experience. It was because the toddler had been bawling and crying for half the concert and holding his ears. When we left at 11:30, you were standing in line at the merch counter and the toddler was still crying. It's so selfish, everyone surrounding us also felt bad for the kids on the floor. Be better. ♦

GU Visiting Writers Series: Jeff Rutherford @ Gonzaga University Hemmingson Center

Thu., Feb. 29, 7:30-9:30 p.m.
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