On the rag. A visit from Aunt Flo. That time of the month.
There are plenty of euphemisms humans have created over the years to avoid saying the "taboo" word. But Rachel Kauder Nalebuff thinks it's time we come out and call it what it is: a period.
"Periods are a part of half of the population's daily lives," she says. "It's something we all need to understand at a bare minimum."
With her newest compilation of stories, Our Red Book, she seeks to share tales of blood, growth, change and more in order to attempt to break the stigma surrounding periods.
At an upcoming event at the Central Library on Aug. 15, Kauder Nalebuff and Our Red Book contributor Laurelin Kruse are reading excerpts from the book and conducting a voluntary sharing activity to get the community involved in sharing their own stories surrounding periods.
In 2009, Kauder Nalebuff, who teaches nonfiction writing at Yale University, released My Little Red Book, which in many ways was the predecessor of Our Red Book, released in 2022.
"The first one was, in my mind, geared mostly toward teenagers," she says. "I thought of it as a companion for people going through that experience for the first time. Specifically girls. But once the book came out, everyone made it very clear to me that stories around menstruation and the silence around menstruation are not limited to the teenage experience."
Right after the release of My Little Red Book, Kauder Nalebuff began the decadelong process of collecting even more stories for Our Red Book, determined to collect even more tales of blood, pain and strength to reflect the reality of periods.
"This new book still has a lot of those teenage experience stories," she says. "But there are also stories about menopause, about birth, about the experience of transitioning genders and the experience of parenthood."
As readers hear the tales of the editor herself and other contributors, they also are let in on how Kauder Nalebuff went about collecting and organizing all of the stories.
"It was very word of mouth," she says. "I had to surrender to the process. It was like this decadelong investigation where I was just talking to one person and that person led me to another and another and so on."
She says that many people were reluctant to share at first, stating that they had no story to tell. But Kauder Nalebuff believes everyone has a story, whether it's their own or the story of a loved one's experience.
"These are the best stories that are never told," she says. "There is so much internalized misogyny that we immediately discount them."
In the first few pages of Our Red Book, Kauder Nalebuff's aunt, Tante Nina, recalls the story of her own first period.
"I was thirteen. It was 1940. We were fleeing Poland and the deportation of the Jews ... My story takes place on the train arriving from Poland at the German border crossing. The train stopped, and we were told to get completely undressed for the customs guards to search us."
Nina reveals that it was at that moment she discovered she had gotten her period.
"When she told me this story," Kauder Nalebuff says. "It felt like a really important part of my family's history."
Kruse also took the familial approach with her contribution to the book.
When Kauder Nalebuff approached Kruse, she asked if she would be willing to interview someone else for her portion. Who better than her own mother?
In Kruse's section of Our Red Book, her mother, Barbara, recalls feeling angry when she got her first period in the seventh grade.
"Around that same time, I was dedicated to the idea of being baptized in my American Baptist church. Baptism was presented as a kind of cleansing and renewal. Well, after I was baptized, I didn't feel any different ... I kept trying to accomplish that feeling of cleansing ... This became my obsession."
Barbara then explains how her need for cleanliness and renewal went away at the age of 39 when she found out she was postmenopausal. Kruse admits to having those tendencies as well, realizing the link between her and her mother is more intrinsic than she once thought.
"I consider myself to have a very close relationship with my mom," Kruse says. "She was a high school biology teacher, so she's not afraid to talk about menstruation and periods. But in writing this, I realized that she had never shared the emotional piece of that story with me. I got to see so many different sides of my mom through the experience of putting this together."
Throughout the pages of Our Red Book readers see glimpses into the lives of regular citizens, arts and scientists who all have their own stories to tell about menstruation. Author Judy Blume even chimes in on her own experience.
Kauder Nalebuff and Kruse anticipate their workshop on Aug. 15 will reveal familial links like Kruse's story and reflection on people's personal experiences with periods.
The workshop is half readings by Kauder Nalebuff, Kruse and a yet-to-be-announced local author, and half writing. Kauder Nalebuff and Kruse encourage the public to attend either one portion or both portions of the workshop with no pressure to share their personal stories if they're not willing.
"These stories that we're going to be sharing require us to reflect," Kauder Nalebuff says. "Everyone is invited, I want to make that very clear. Folks who have just gotten their period, people who haven't gotten their period, parents, people of all genders. The world has changed a lot since [My Little Red Book came out], so it felt very important to invite people from across the aisle to witness these stories and read these stories that we are so reluctant to share"
"To end that silence," she says. "You need to invite everybody in." ♦
Our Red Book: A Reading and Sharing Event • EVENT POSTPONED • Free • All ages • Central Library • 906 W. Main Ave. • spokanelibrary.org
