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The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special premieres Tuesday on Disney+
By the time you read this, ‘Merica could be in flames and under siege by obese militia rednecks while I’m stowed away on a flight to Any Other Damn Country in search of journalistic asylum. I’ll let you know how it shakes out. [Editor's note: We have not heard from Bill in a couple weeks. Just sayin'
Anyway: Here are 11 series premiering in November to enjoy (or tolerate) in the bunker.
(now streaming on Showtime)
After Netflix’s Space Force
and HBO’s Avenue 5
, is there room for another surreal astronaut comedy? Only if it’s from Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim (Tim & Eric
) and Jonathan Krisel (Baskets
). Moonbase 8
follows three bros (Heidecker, Fred Armisen and John C. Reilly) training for their first lunar mission in an isolated Arizona moon base simulator, and slowly losing their minds (not that they had much to spare). Don’t think too hard—Moonbase 8
(now streaming on HBO)
If you’ve ever wished Showtime dad-rock drama Billions
was less old and white, but sexier and angsty-er (and British), Industry
might be for you. New to the shiny world of London high finance, New Yorker Harper Stein (Myha’la Herrold) is thrown in with a pack of hungry, ridiculously good-looking grads looking to claw their way to the top. Do they do drugs and screw? You bet. Do they deal with class, gender and race issues? Between the drugs and the screwing, sure.
(now streaming on Hulu)
Speaking of sexy angst, here’s a teacher-hooks-up-with-student “miniseries” (10 episodes isn’t mini, Hulu) pretending not to be a supersized Lifetime movie. The imaginatively-titled A Teacher
stars Kate Mara as a married high-school teacher in a torrid (and illegal, because Texas) romance with a senior (Nick Robinson). Because A Teacher
is under the usually prestigious FX on Hulu banner, it’s presented as premium cable-level art. Really, it’s just eight episodes too long.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
(now streaming on Bravo)
So far, so garbage—the quality’s going to turn soon, promise! Before then, however, there’s the 10th(!) installment of the Real Housewives
franchise/cancer to attend to. The latest victim of the White Claw of reality shows is Salt Lake City, which introduces six new Botox repositories who are indistinguishable from any other RH coven. The Housewives aren’t “real,” nor is a millisecond of this “unscripted” bullshit bazooka, but who cares? Idiocracy accomplished.
The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special
(premiering Tues, Nov. 17; Disney+)
“Lego” is a mashup of the Danish phrase “leg godt,” which means “play well.” Nice, but that doesn’t mean you get to insist that your brand name is always all-capped as LEGO when it’s not a damned acronym! Can I demand that I am henceforth FROST? No, because it stands for nothing … and neither do I. Except for this grammatical atrocity—I will die on this hill! Oh yeah: The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special
is a Lego reenactment of the infamous 1978 original. Should be fun.
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We Are the Champions
This is not Rainn Wilson, but he does narrate the new international series We Are The Champions.
(premiering Tues, Nov. 17; Netflix)
’s Rainn Wilson produces and narrates this docuseries about hyper-niche competitions around the world. Episodes chronicle the low-stakes gamesmanship of chili eating (by heat, not quantity), cheese rolling (downhill cheese-wheel races), fantasy hairstyling (over-the-top ‘dos), yo-yo-ing (self-explanatory), dog dancing (ditto) and frog jumping (ditto-ditto). Sound ridiculous? Playing videogames has somehow been elevated to an “esport,” so step off.
(premiering Fri, Nov. 20; Hulu)
One of the most insane cartoon series to ever air on normie broadcast TV is back, so 2020 isn’t a complete wash. Animaniacs
, which originally ran 1993-98, followed “Warner brothers” Yakko and Wakko, as well as “Warner sister” Dot, as they wreaked pop-cultural hyper-havoc on the Warner Bros. Studio lot. Most importantly, the ‘tooned-up sketch/variety show introduced the world to Pinky & the Brain (also returning), two mice bent on world domination. Take it, P&B.
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John Belushi had the best eyebrows in the 'biz
(premiering Sun, Nov. 22; Showtime)
How has there never been a decent biopic about John Belushi? The rightfully hated Wired
, a 1989 film dramatization of Bob Woodward’s equally reviled book, doesn’t count. Belushi
finally recounts the former Saturday Night Live
star’s rise (Animal House
, The Blues Brothers
’ movie and music) and fall (death by drug overdose at 33 in 1983). He claimed he’d “rather be an anarchist than a professional,” and Belushi
shows the highs and lows of killing yourself for art.
(premiering Mon, Nov. 23; FX)
In 1934, a group of nuns, led by young Sister Clodagh (Gemma Atherton), are sent to the high Himalayas to establish a mission in a palace donated by an Indian general. The catch? The palace was previously a harem house (or sex palace, if you will). Will the Sisters of St. Faith overcome their erotic surroundings? Can Sister Clodagh resist the sexy swagger of soldier Mr. Dean (Alessandro Nivola)? Black Narcissus
is predictable, but it’s also gorgeous to look at.
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Saved by the Bell
Yup, Elizabeth Berkley has a career after Showgirls. Same one she had before Showgirls, actually.
(premiering Wed, Nov. 25; Peacock)
Picking up decades after the 1989-94 series, this Saved by the Bell
sequel centers around the political machinations of California Gov. Zach Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) and … does the plot really matter? Zach, A.C. (Mario Lopez), Kelly (Tiffani Thiessen) and Jessie (Elizabeth Berkley) are back; Screech (Dustin Diamond) was not invited. A new Saved by the Bell
makes about as much sense as a Dexter
revival (don’t get me started), but at least Zach Morris is still the worst.
The Flight Attendant
(premiering Thurs, Nov. 26; HBO Max)
Big Bang Theory
escapee Kaley Cuoco (currently the titular voice of HBO Max’s Harley Quinn
) is The Flight Attendant
, a woman who wakes up in a hotel next to her one-night stand—problem is, he’s a bloody, dead mess. A brisk, back-tracing murder mystery unfolds from there, balancing raw tension and dark humor with Cuoco dominating the lead. The Flight Attendant
is either too smart or perfect to drop on Thanksgiving Day—anything makes sense in 2020, so just roll with it.