Baby, come on over here for a minute. I've got something to tell you. Now, I want you to come in real close so I can whisper in your ear. No, no, it's nothing bad -- I've got something to say that'll make you feel all warm inside. After all, love burns. You see, I really care about you, girl. I want to show you how special you are this week.

Now I know you say it's been a while since I took you out. And it has. But you know, girl, I've been handling some things at my office. It's been real busy -- hectic and stuff. But I'm going to make it up to you this Saturday.

I want a night out. With you. Just the two of us. Maybe we can get some dinner first, like at that one nice Chinese restaurant. The new one, with the horse out front. You can order whatever you want there. Don't worry about the money -- I'll handle that.

And after dinner, I want to take you out to a concert, and this one's not at a casino. I want to pick you up in my new cherry-finish Camry and take you downtown to the Big Easy to see Boyz II Men. Yeah, they're still around. I think one of them might have left the group, but it's the core that matters, right? The core, girl -- like you and me.

You say it was the guy who sings bass? Mike? Ooh, he was, like, my favorite. He's the one who gave that speech on "End of the Road." Oh, well, it really doesn't matter. I'm sure it will still be a good show.

I'll bet you want to call all your girlfriends right now. Make sure to tell them how much your man takes care of you.

You know something? That's crazy, girl -- those Boyz can still bring it after all these years. How long ago was it when they dropped Cooleyhighharmony? Fifteen years? Crazy. It's, like, nostalgic or something. Nostalgia reminds me of you, baby. Sweet? Well, I'm serious.

That reminds me, I just talked to Nathan Morris the other day. You know, he's the skinny one from Boyz II Men. Yeah, I know him, girl -- we go way back. We always talk about life and love and relationships and stuff. He was telling me about their new album, he...

Baby, I'm serious. Would I lie to the woman I love? Come on now...

Anyway, he said the new album is going to be nice. He said, "We're doing it for the women." That's what he said -- he said, "We're doing it for the women. But we're doing it for the brothers, too, in order to help them get women."

I said, "Nathan, if that is your philosophy, I will buy that album!" I meant it too.

We talked about some other stuff too, because that's how we are. Nathan said, "It's not a hustle to us, we do music because we love doing it." He said, "We're here to bring true R & amp;B back." I got so fired up when I heard him say that I had to calm myself down with a glass of ice water!

We talked about some other stuff after that, too. But then I had to go take care of some things, so I told him that. So after our conversation as friends, I said to myself, "You go and take your lady to the show. That would be most gentlemanly." So here we are.

Baby, I'm excited, can't you tell?

Listen, girl. I promise: This time, I'm not going to back out on you. I won't schedule anything for the day, I'll even leave work early if I need to. I can tell everybody else to kiss my behind. That would be funny if I really did that, right?! I'll pick you up, like maybe around six? Maybe you could put on those earrings I gave you last week. You know you get my motor purring when those things kind of dangle around. I'll even give you a back massage after the show with precious soaps and oils, like the kind you get at Bath and Body Works.

Yeah, yeah girl, I'm sure they'll still do all the old jams. "Boyz II Men, ABC, BBD!" Yeah, that was the ticket! You liked "End of the Road" the best? I loved that one! I used to play that song all the time when I was working at the mall. Girls used to just come to the store to listen to that song.

But you're the only girl I care about now. Girl, I will hold you so tight when they play that song that people around us might get uncomfortable. But don't worry, because I'm not afraid of the extra attention they might give us. I don't mind showing people that we're in love.

Remember that song "I'll Make Love to You"? If everything goes according to plan after the concert, that song will be the soundtrack to our romantic escapade. Oh, you have to get up early the next morning? That's all right, we can reschedule that part of it for another time, then. I will have you home promptly after the show, and I will wait until you get inside the door of your house before I drive away this time.

Baby, you will not regret saying yes to me. I will make you feel like twice the woman you are.

Boyz II Men at the Big Easy on Saturday, Oct. 14, at 7:30pm. Tickets: $30. Visit www.ticketswest.com or call 325-SEAT.

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James Pants

James Pants is an internationally renowned DJ, a Whitworth University alum and a former Spokane resident