For every enthusiast, there's an ideal gift basket — the classy go-to gift that says "I want you to know I care a lot, because this is wrapped in cellophane." For wine lovers, it's a nice bottle, some cheese, perhaps a salami and a wine aerator. For cocktail enthusiasts, it's a bottle of spirits, a shaker and some bitters.
Gift baskets are somewhat competitive. They are designed to be displayed, a billboard to the world that flaunts exactly how good you are at picking presents. Here is a bougie weed-themed gift basket that will do exactly that.
WRAPPING MATERIALS
If you're going to invest in a gift basket, it needs to be gently enveloped in the shiny iridescent swaddling of cellophane. The basket needs a bow. You cannot compromise on the importance of the cellophane, a statement that can even become philosophical. Nothing is worth doing unless it's packaged in a way to be appreciated. If you are environmentally averse to cellophane, get an extra-super-great bow.
The actual basket is often the unsung hero in these types of gifts, but in addition to its contents, your giftee also receives a new hip household container. In theory, you could skip the basket and put the gifts in a sad, floppy shoe box. That would be a shameful disservice to both the gifts and the giftee. Prices vary
THE VEGAN STONER COOKBOOK
There's a three-point triangle of suffering for foodie-stoners, as follows:
1. I am high
2. I want something tasty because I'm a food snob
3. I can't follow more than, say, five instructions right now
The Vegan Stoner Cookbook by Sarah Conrique and Graham I. Haynes targets exactly this struggling demographic. Each recipe has fewer than 10 (adorably illustrated) ingredients and numbered instructions in a large font. These munchie recipes are tasty and cute, even for nonvegans. Cream-o-shroom soup? A sloppy Jane sandwich? Veggie sushi? Bahnwich? Animal cookies?
Flip through the book and pick a recipe you like. Add the shelf-stable ingredients to the gift basket with a little note that says "See recipe on Page 11!" $13, theveganstoner.com
ORGANIC HEMP WICK
The cellophane says "I care about presentation." Lighter wicks say "I care about your lungs." Nothing sucks more than sucking up a hit of butane when you take a hit. These cute pocket-sized wicks are good for the road. If you do happen to put bud in your gift basket, the wicks are an excellent touch. $15, twistedbee.com
DARK CHOCOLATE AND SEA SALT-COVERED PUMPKIN SEEDS
These pumpkin seeds are a bingeable snack that pump you full of protein and don't taste like gravel. Giftees over 30 simply cannot binge Taco Bell Doritos Locos tacos anymore — give them a snack with fiber. $9, superseedz.com
PICKLED FRUIT BOX
Pickles are exciting. Fancy pickles are absolutely thrilling. Think back to the last time you saw a jar of unique canned goods. Was it a funky flavor that whetted your taste buds? Were there bits of garlic and herbs packed neatly around oddly cut veggies? Perhaps a fun label? Perhaps an odd fruit?
A bangin' jar of pickles bumps the basket up a level. Mouth, an online pickled goods retailer, serves up some interesting vinegary brews. The pickled blueberries start quite a conversation. Grab a pickled fruit box and sample a few unexpected pleasures. $37, mouth.com ♦
