by Inlander Staff & r & & r & DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE


The DOA videogames are all about young girls kickboxing each other (and the occasional epic dude). That's not an exaggeration or a dismissal -- it's just the aesthetic. There has always been a plotline woven among the boobs and fights, however -- usually one involving a world championship title fought for among an elite gang of well-endowed international fighters. Nothing suggests the movie will be any different, except that in a movie theater you have both hands free. (MD) Rated PG-13





FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER


One of the worst sequels ever, this debacle picks up where the first awful film left off, now pitting the superhero quartet against a silver surfing dude from outer space. Is he here because he wants to destroy our world, or because someone or something is making him do it? Heck, I don't know! Nothing in this carelessly sloppy script is explained, including the smarmy presence of Dr. Doom, who was killed off in the first one. (ES) Rated PG





NANCY DREW


If you're looking for a film with a good role model for a young female viewer, you can skip this one. Emma Roberts, taking on the part of the teen detective, wears a stuck-on smile (and a horrendous wardrobe) as she ignores her friends and any rules from her clueless father. She's been ordered by Dad to "stop sleuthing," so she up and takes on a new case. And though she's always in some sort of "peril," she seems to have been hanging out with MacGyver, because anything she needs to get out of a jam is in one of her pockets. You want a role model film? Go see Gracie. (ES) Rated PG

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