I SAW YOU
Red String: I could write a poem, or a sad song. I will refrain from both and try aimlessly to move on. The pain had subsided, I had accepted our fate. Then you held held me in your arms and I saw the look on your face. Oh what a story did it tell. It pulled me from my ignorance, how blissfull it was. Pretending you do not care, and felt nothing for me. Yet, I dare not say a peep. (At least not to you.) What else is a girl to do. BTW, in case you have not noticed. I STILL F—-ING LOVE YOU! Holy hell, I must move on from you. I beg the question how, if time and distance did not do the trick. I feel I may always be stuck with this empty aimless wish. Remembering that gentle kiss from years ago. Oh how I wish my heart would let you go.
Pandemic Problems: I saw you in Albertsons on 57th. You were in the holiday aisle, picking up some heart-shaped Dove chocolates. (Milk chocolate is my favorite too!) Even from six feet away you looked amazing. I thought about you later and wished I had said 'Hi' or something. This social distancing is really starting to curb my appeal. Maybe we could share a bag of Kisses sometime? Your lovely pose caused me to write some prose: I saw you at the store last week / Your mask hid some of your beauty / Your smile, your lips, your dimples, your cheeks / I imagine you quite a cutie
Black Truck, Dark Hair, Mega Car Wash: Hi, I saw you at Mega Car Wash vacuuming your truck, I was the short dark hair wearing blue flannel, blue Chevy small SUV. You had a blue maybe flannel or jacket on as well, Sunday Super bowl day around 3:30. If you're interested, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. PS just so I no it's the right person you thought my name was _ _ _ _... I gave you my name; you thought you might have seen me before. Signed, Me... :)
YOU SAW ME
The Universe Hasn't Been Subtle Since: You saw me at my job; you asked me about my new car; you saw my Curtis Mayfield cassettes in the backseat. After you left, you called my job to ask me out. Intrigued, I canceled a date with someone else that night to get to know you. The universe hasn't been subtle since. I'm so in love with you, Maria. Thank you for seeing me.
Fireman Honk: Firefighters have always been on my list of Consistently Good People. Including the time when my precious VW Beetle was shot at in San Diego (I was blocks away at the time), and several firemen helped me. We all know they will run into a burning building. And go to great lengths to rescue kitties from trees. Always heroic. And thoughtful. (Not to mention good-lookin'.) But, until today, I didn't know they could make me laugh so hard I cried. After narrowly missing a jaywalker who jumped out in front of me on a downtown street, and honking at the dude, I heard a REALLY LOUD honk, and realized that a fire truck had also just honked at the guy! Thanks for the reinforcement, Firemen, and the smiles and thumbs-up. That made my day, my week, my month!
I Miss You Already: I don't know how we got here, or why, but I want to say thank you for the past year and a half. Although it has been a constant fight, and despite the fact that I am currently alone, again, I just want you to understand that I love you with all of my heart. I know that it's probably going to be awhile before we see each other again; I miss you already. I love you, lady. You'll always be with me In my heart. Until the day we meet again.
JEERSKeep It Down! To the owner of certain apartments in Browne's Addition, this jeers goes out to you, cowpoke. If the only fleeting satisfaction I'll get is having this jeers posted and you actually read it, then dagnabbit, this is gonna be worth it to me! I just wanna tell you... You suck... you suck so much. For most of 2020 and going into 2021, you gave your apartment building a face-lift. A really loud face-lift. There were countless mornings, starting at 7 am, when it wasn't the chirping of birds that welcomed the new day; it was your burly maintenance crew ready to demo sh*t to oblivion. They'd yell, they jack hammered the sh*t out of the ground, they'd use all the Screeching tools. You even had an Avista crew of 10+, screaming and yelling at each other at 7:30 am this morning. (I love you Avista but damn... y'all need to use walkie talkies or something.) These earth-quaking disturbances last all day, for days in a row, all year long. Yeah, I don't know the first thing about owning a building and all the maintenance and upkeep it requires, especially when you have people living in it. But folks have the right to live in peace and quiet, and you subjecting families and animals to loud construction noises right outside their homes for a year now is just heartless. Get the job done, and let people live in peace!
Predatory Interest Rates — Like a Loan Shark! So what do the City of Spokane and some sleazy loan shark have in common? Yep! Spiraling interest rates and Penalties! According to this weekly there is a Representative Mr. Mike Volz that has taken notice that the City has a lot in common with the common Loan Shark. Interest and penalties on property taxes. One of the big concerns is IF you help someone that is STRUGGLING during this time period (WOW? Anyone struggling other than the City of Spokane — think recent tax increase) with cutting out the predatory interest and penalties that instead of helping the MANY that are having a hard time you may Also be supporting those scummy people that just don't want to pay the rent (property tax a form of rent) on the property they live on. See, if you call it property tax instead of rent you can screw the people that owe it! IF however you refer to it as rent, then you can't even HINT the person owes it! Got it? The whole idea of the small guy taking back HIS country (OR city) should be much more obvious with the recent moves on Wall Street — Game Stop stock purchase. Where a group of little people that don't matter suddenly become Giant Killers! Until the public gets backed into a wall and starts to stand up for themselves. I applaud that Fine Representative Mike Volz. Please, Mike, Help those who don't seem to want to help themselves!
Left the Building: Jeers to all you political nutz jeering at ANYONE who flies a flag or a sticker THEY don't like... This is America, you crybaby so get over yourself. 75+ million Americans are NOT leaving the building. Go then to steal and peel; your work is cut out for you.
To the Person Who Posted "You Visit Me in My Dreams": You say you saw an "average" sized "man"? Did you seriously just assume gender? If anything, the ponytail should be a clear sign that this individual tends to lean the other way... if you know what I mean. Keep your gender opinions in your dreams. The real world has no place for your stupid logic.
Pinched Off: Dear Spokesman-Review: Please stop leaving the Pinch in my yard. It is ruining my life. I literally hate the Pinch more than anything else on the planet. Please... I'm begging you... JUST STOP! It's not that difficult. You just have to stop throwing it into my driveway. That is actually LESS work for someone. Why has it been so difficult to try and get this small request accomplished? I've left so many desperate voicemails. I now go to a weekly support group for Pinch victims just to try and make sense of it all. We talk of the dread we feel as we open our front doors to see yet another piece of garbage, mindlessly pinched onto the sidewalk, waiting, like an obsessive stalker. It's one thing to endorse Donald Trump for president. But sending half the city 50 Arby's coupons twice a week? That is unforgivable! Again, please stop sending me the Pinch so that I can move forward and try to rebuild the wreckage that your "news" outlet has made out of my life. Sincerely, Guy Who Hates the Pinch. ♦