MORNING BRIEFING: Big Bird and Black Metal Edition

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As of yesterday, there's a new chief in town. Mayor Condon swore in Frank Straub as the new chief of police on Monday. Straub wore a cop's uniform but kind of isn't really a cop, I guess?

A local woman takes a bullet in the face, but she says it's like totally fine. We'd like to refer her to this story.

A Spokane developer is being accused of fraud — but local county commissioners are kind of like "meh, whatevs" about the whole thing.

Remember when a little thing called a resume mattered?

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Jerry Sandusky is sentenced to 30 years in prison, and probably an eternity in hell.

People do not like their TV premieres f***ed with.

David Blaine, the illusionist and idol of Inlander culture editor Mike Bookey, shocks himself with lightning this weekend. We don't know why either.

Last week's presidential debate might have been a snoozer, but it produced this gem.

BLACK METAL AND CATS