I SAW YOU
Missing You: Missing your honeysuckle eyes and arms wrapped around me. Your giant traps to protect me. Miss you smelling your ear and blushing. I wish I could fix things, and we could start over with a clean slate. God willing we get another chance to do it right, I'll give you the schmooka AND the wooka.
You Guessed My Costume Right Away: I was the Virgin Mary carrying a bearded baby Jesus. You were wearing camo pants and tactical suspenders. You had a sick scar on your face. I don't know who you were, but you definitely could have taken my virginity. You looked like a cop who arrests dinosaurs. Like "Rambo" crossed with "Daamn girl!" Like if the Letters from Iwo Jima were just OMFG. But we didn't really get to talk about you, because I was swept away by my friends as the bar closed in chaos. If I had gone stag, maybe you would have been my deer hunter. I hope you had a blessed night. I am not a real virgin, but I am a Virgo. Tell me what bar we were at?
CHEERS
Unconditional: Cheeseburger!! JERRY!! A real man doesn't give up so easily! A real man fights for love and friendship! A real man knows what he's got when he's got it!! Our love is unconditional THANK GOD or I wouldn't still be blessed with you! Thank you for being a REAL man and my best friend!! I love you more than bacon and ranch!! <3
Horse Riding Barbie Boy: Just wanted to say I am sorry, forgive you and wish you the best life has to offer. Anyway, be well and may you achieve your dreams; just miss you.
Man of Customer Service: We have been doing business at the discounted material store off the freeway on the corner of Hamilton as we remodel a home. I'm not sure the name of this warehouse that carries new and used building materials. A lot of tile. But I feel the man who works there with dark hair does the most excellent job of customer service. At times I've seen him have some help, but mostly he has been the one alone to help us. And he is all over that warehouse helping customers yet manages to serve us so promptly in all our needs. I listen to him: "Do you need help?" "Is there anything I can help you with? Let me know." Or "I just am going to help these people, and then I'll be right with you." And he is always fair. We love going to this place. He has saved us a ton of money. And he is just excellent at customer service. I felt he should be complimented on a job well done. Not sure if he is owner or employee. But this man is good at what he does, and we thank him and will go there for whatever we need even though we live in Murray, Idaho. It is worth the trip. Thank you, sir!
JEERS
What a mess! Instead of walking my dog to the river, I now take him down North Barker more often with plastic bags in hand. Ever since construction and Amazon started, the garbage on the side of the road is OFF THE HOOK! Grrrr! I HATE when pigs litter, don't care, and are probably the same people who start brush fires all summer from tossing a cig butt. I know it's not ALL the workers, but you know who you are! Please talk to your workers and put a plastic bag in your rig for your lunch, cans and booze bottles!! >:-( ... Sincerely, a nature lover!
3-car Wildlife Garage: Some of the quotes in the recent article about the West Plains "earth-forward home" forced me to stop and double-check to make sure I wasn't reading The Onion. After describing the site as a historical game trail, the architect said that "keeping (the game trail) as intact as possible was an explicit agenda." How did they do this? Maybe they turned the site into a conservation area? No, they built a house on it. At least they were thoughtful enough to include a three-car garage just in case those migrating animals need a place to park. If you're building a modern house that looks more at home on a Star Wars set than in the forest, choosing the exterior finish is crucial "to be somewhat silent to the landscape ... and to blend respectfully." You probably want to avoid "a material that takes on nature in a sort of defiant way." So the obvious choice is metal which, obviously, reminds one of the snow-capped peaks, forests and rivers of the Pacific Northwest. Don't get me wrong — the house is interesting, but pretending that it honors or respects the environment around it is just being pretentious.
Muffler Whiner: Last night they stole my cat convert...so sorry my neighbors yur ears gonna hurt...kinda not my fault...they probably used a dewalt...and now that my humvee is now a noisy hoop tee ..I'm sure I'm hated now...by the neighborhood and wow...guess what? I gotta make it to work... so stuff it up yur butt.
Ignorance Is Unreal! At a chain restaurant, a family of four walks in right past all the signs on the door that say a mask is required, yet the puzzled look on the wife's face says she didn't realize they had to wear masks. Their kid looks like he was running a fever, and he was wiping his nose with his arm. So if your kid is sick and you won't protect yourself or others by wearing a mask, then you shouldn't be going into places like that because you're going to end up killing people by spreading this disease!!! The restaurant did supply them with a mask so they put them on and they wore them down on their chin?!
Don't Buy It: In the Sept. 23 edition, Inlander took it upon themselves to highlight the post of a fed-up medical employee who is tired of treating COVID patients. The poster goes on to berate our neighbors in Idaho in a very negative way. First off, stop your complaining. Second, review your facts before you open your mouth. The U.S. stands at 54 percent FULLY vaccinated... I'll say it again, FULLY. That means two shots if required. Idaho stands at 45 percent FULLY vaccinated, a 9 point difference. Many Eastern Washington counties have the same vaccination rate or lower than Idaho has as a whole... for example, Whitman/42 percent fully vaccinated, Pend Oreille/35 percent, Stevens/34. I am sick and tired of this mindless division that is pumped at every level to pit one person against another, or one state against another, or one group against another. Grow up and stop buying the division being fed to you! ♦
