Best Actor to Play Eugster

BEST ACTOR TO PLAY STEVE EUGSTER - Pee Wee Herman - Can't you just see it? -- Steve Eugster in red lipstick, a tight gray suit, a teensy bow tie and gleaming white shoes, chirping happily through his Big Adventure, squeaking in that little voice at City Council meetings? Still, let's not push the parallel too far: you may recall that Paul Reubens got himself arrested back in '91. Seems that, in a Sarasota, Fla., movie theater, he decided to reveal his, um, shortcomings. Let us all fervently hope that Citizen Eugster doesn't follow the lead of Pee Wee gone cree-pee.


As for the treatment, I foresee a great cinematic chase scene: Betsy Cowles sprinting up the River Park Square parking garage ramps, with Pee Wee Eugster in hot pursuit, pedaling madly on his undersized bike. Still, delicious as the Eugster Man/Obnoxious Man-Child analogy is, Mr. Herman is clearly not the only bobbing-head doll that our readers have in mind for Councilperson Eugster. (Altogether, they proposed more than 120 different actors to play the Eugster-Meister.) While the silver medalists appear below, consider how well some of our readers discern resemblances: Eugster should be played, they claim, by the likes of G. Gordon Liddy, Gene Hackman "at his grumpiest," any of the Stooges, The West Wing's John Spencer, director Sydney Pollack, animated weasel Bart Simpson, or "Ernest" (as in Ernest Goes to Court, Quite Often). Moreover, a trio of readers, asked about casting Eugster in a TV movie, arrived at largely similar responses: "Delete the part, please"; "Doesn't matter, no one would watch it"; and "Who's Steve Eugster?" -- Michael Bowen


2nd: (three-way tie) Jack Nicholson, Jim Carrey and Bob Denver (Gilligan)